In Loving Memory..

Written by: Simran Avadia & Sakina Abbas
Photo Credits: Ishaant Nandkishore Awasti (AKA Affan Ather)

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Dear PAFIANS,

This post must be read with utmost sobriety and interest, for what is to be told to you today is probably something you already know, but is now hyperbolised and exaggerated in any and every way possible.

That is all.

                 X --------------------------X

I recall seeing him on the 16th of December, when I had made an effort to come to school in order to give a mid-year exam. Back then, little did I know that this was the last time that I would be having an encounter with him. Had I known what was to come, I swear I would have made him feel special. Perhaps, I could have given him a treat or something. Or at least, I could have taken a selfie with him to post on my Instagram with, “#FavCrush #Us<3 #LuvOvMaLaaife #Bae #MyKhalasar #MySun&Moon #andStars” and so goes the list of the hashtags. *sigh* Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. I remember that our eyes met, following which, we just walked away in different directions.

I hoped to see him when I returned to School from our Winter Break. However, there was no sign of him. Desperate, I asked around, but no one seemed to care. In fact, everyone was glad that he could not be seen anywhere. I panicked. Who could take him away and where?! Would his captors demand ransom? Or was he just .. dead? I presumed the latter, only because it was easier to believe. He was the most exquisite creature I ever had the pleasure to meet; he turned my head around, LITERALLY. Yes, head. Because turning one’s life around is so not possible, duhh. So I spin my head right round, right round, then you go down, then you go down down..

Down..

Baby are you down down down down down? YES. I AM SO DOWN .. To earth. Only short people like Haniya will understand this.

Anyway, he was there for me in the darkest of my times. He almost always smelled of food. He had those pretty hair one could die for. And his eyes could see right through you, penetrating your soul, and everything else. He had the eyes of Sauron, because one eye of Sauron was not cool and creepy enough. And his nose? Whoa, don’t even remind me of his cute little pink nose. *Inserts Yumna’s signature Awwwwwn.* Now, I usually don’t fall for anyone, but the fact that I did fall for him makes gravity feel ashamed. Huh!

Because this.

Albeit, it has only been a matter of a few months when I received the following report about his sister and him, from one of my subordinates. Yes, I told them all to spy on him, for me..

“It has come to the attention of the Student Blogging Team (SBT) that our beloved PAF Chapter has been harboring mysterious and wild refugees. Yes, refugees!
How long they have been staying here or who smuggled them here, no one knows, but some of our sources tell us that they’ve been spotted in various places around the school for an unknown period of time, carrying out questionable acts.

Bear in mind, they aren’t like us, not by a long shot. Information provided below is strictly confidential and wouldn’t be provided if it wasn’t for your well being and our own selfish humour.

NAMES: Peter and Delilah

IDENTIFICATION:

Grey hair

Unfathomable language

Inability to walk on two legs

Pear shaped face (from the side, at least)

Nails sharper than a vampire’s teeth

DIET:

Dupatta corners

Shoe laces

Human flesh

FAVOURITE HANGOUT SPOTS:
Classrooms
Trashcans
Main ground

ACTS OF SUSPICION:

Scratching bags and licking its straps while you gossip with your friends

Biting your hand when you try to offer a friendly pat

Eyeing you with a deathly stare as you eat ice cream

Coming near girls, only to see them run and scream for their lives

NEVER following teachers as if there were some secret agreement between the two

parties o.o

Yes, if you haven’t already guessed it, I’m talking about THESE creatures residing in our school since the very inception of time.

Peter be like, "Watchu lookin' at, bruh?"

Delilah be like, "My eyes and your eyes. Fabulous, exciting eyes. Eye to eye.."

Peter and Delilah, you may have some friends here (yes, Sakina. I’m looking at you) but I assure you, we will find the start of your story.

Peter and Sakina - still a better love story than TFIOS.

"Ah, yes. Pet me, slaves."

This awareness post is brought to you by SBT, umeed hai ke aap safeguard se haath dho kar 99% jaraseem ka khatma kartey hongey.”

That being said, Peter, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that, “wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you..”
I’m kidding. We got a new edition of kittens a few days ago and they’re way fluffier than you. OkayThanksBye.