LUMUN XI-An Unforgettable Journey

 Written by Inshirah Tahir


The Public Speaking Society of PAF Chapter prepared for LUMUN XI with all their devotion; they were expecting numerous things. A competition of enormous magnitudes that would test the very best of their speaking skills and their intellect, they expected to have a wonderful time surrounded by their teammates and enjoy much talked about winter of Lahore! However what they did not expect was that their teammates will soon turn into their closest friends, that they will make memories and share jokes that will stay with them for life! Despite the competition, they will learn more from the conference than they could have ever imagined ans that they will push their stamina and intellect to the very limit and come out adding four more awards to PAF Chapter's LUMUN legacy!

Now a little insight on what happened before the conference, so if any of you had the chance to meet any of the delegates a day or two before they left, you would have been witness to the stress they were under at the time. Was the cause of this the immensely hard competition they were soon to face? Uhhmm Not really, this was actually caused by the fact that with only a few hours remaining till the conference was scheduled to commence, they were still unsure about their personalities and committees. One of the delegates actually ended up walking into the competition only to learn that his assigned personality did not even exist! *Much wow* However despite all predicaments, on the 12^th of February a group of twelve students including, Mohammed Rohan, Najam Hassan, Usama Khawar, Inshirah Tahir, Maha Malik, Sitwat Atiq, Abdullah Zahid along with students from the O Levels Section, Shahrukh Waseem, Haysam Azhar, Sara Intikhab, Ghazal Qadri and Mohammed Ibrahim left for the train station accompanied by their team facilitator, Mr. Yelmaz Mujtaba. The train ride thereon started with some people feeling slightly claustrophobic  but then getting used to it after a while. Some of us were busy enjoying bottles of Nutella, bags of Lays and what not. We were really sleepy but at the same time too ecstatic to sleep. There were also those who were constantly trying  to escape to a quiet corner to research but would soon be consumed again in the hilarious ongoing conversations. Then before we knew it, we were in Lahore, hauling our luggage, we moved on in the city which was to be our home for the next few days.

Loading into two vans, our next stop was the Beverly Inn, the so called “three star” accommodation arranged for the delegates. However, after hours of waiting around in the lobby we were finally taken to our rooms and let me tell you that all it took was one look at the room to decide that there was no way any one of us was going to stay( read survive) there. Between the utterly unhygienic furniture to the holes in the walls (including one in the roof where sat a pigeon), to evidences of “THINGS” that would scar one for life; we were, uhmm, let's just say very uneasy. We therefore decided to haul our luggage from the rooms and escape as quick as our feet would carry us. Soon enough, thanks to Usama, three rooms were arranged for us that were in immaculate condition and were located right next to the Alama Iqbal Airport.

*sigh* 

Finally, we proceeded to the actual conference, reaching LUMS (Lahore University of Management Sciences). It was obvious that everyone was reconsidering whatever their previous University preferences had been, the main charm was of course the fact that the red bricks reminded us of the PAF Chapter itself. We took a couple of rounds around the campus and found ourselves just moments away from the commencement of the competition. Committees like, DISEC, SPECPOL, SNOWDEN COMMISION, THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM, SOCHUM, LEGAL, ILO, ARCTIC COUNCIL and UNSCW ignited excitement and fear in us. What followed were three days of immense debating, bashing,  trying to get resolutions passed and sheer diplomacy. There were times when we thought we had lost it, only to realize how to get up again. Then there were those moments that made us believe that we could easily win this only to be hit with a big dose of reality!  Throughout this mayhem each member acted like a support system, some  helped others with their  research, rephrasing resolutions, while others were selflessly guiding one another at the expense of their own sleep. One person who was a priceless motivation the entire time was our mentor, Mr. Yelmaz Mujtaba. He selflessly and tirelessly backed us up no matter what. 

The competition had a total of eight sessions. Moderated caucuses were raised that divided the actual topics into subtopics for formal discussions followed by un-moderated caucuses which included completely informal discussions which tested the delegates convincing power. Towards the end a draft resolution was prepared and passing this marked the end of the competition. Thus after exhausting debates and sleepless nights infront of our laptops, we all proceeded to the closing ceremony, each of us well aware of the fact that we gave the best we could. Knowing that no matter what happens we were content because surely this was a learning experience like none other. When it was time for the announcement of the awards we held our breath and exploded with joy and cheered when four of our teammates come out winning  honourable mentions which included, Mohammad Rohan from SC, Maha Malik from ILO, Sitwat Atiq from SOCHUM and Inshirah Tahir from WEF.

This trip was barely just about the competition, it was a hub of priceless memories. Sitting around LUMS at places like the Khoka or Zakir Tikka or Jammin Java and discussing everything from strategies to gossips to every joke in the world. Some of us including myself “ate” coffee (yes, seriously) just so that we could stay awake for the remainder of the day *that was one heck of an experience*  The aimless walks around LUMS will be forever remembered! Finally after the closing ceremony we all had a meal from Hardees and then after getting some much needed rest packed up our bags and left for the station. This time the train ride was a little nostalgic as no one wanted the trip to end but was still too fun to be forgotten! There were the movies we watched on our way back while munching on pizza, with thirteen people cramped up in a room made for six and the games we played to interrogate each other and whatnot. *Wink wink I am sure those who went with us would understand the interrogation part* The afternoon of Tuesday, 17^th February saw us arrive back in Karachi and put an end to the journey we will surely never forget.

All in all one thing is for sure, the few days we spent as part of LUMUN included everything from tears to laughter to missing our friends back home to making amazing friends out of  our teammates, to learning more than we could have ever thought, and lastly coming back and making everyone at the red bricks so very proud!

Edited by: Romesa Hassan

Down the Memory Lane of 2014

Written By: Ali Ul Haque and Mohammad Arbaz
Edited by: Sakina Abbas

2014. T'was a beautiful year when everything was different, except for Leonardo di Caprio getting snubbed at the Oscars (lousy Mathey MConaughy*homer simpson voice*).
We started off this year with high hopes and great ambitions, albeit what happened next is history. Most of our Chapter days were spent us burning in the sun, studying, playing, singing, burning in the sun, partying, goofing off, pulling pranks, burning in the sun and did I mention the burning in the sun? I came to this school as a white man and now I am rather brown, but of course that doesn't apply to everyone since many were born that way (as a certain brother would appreciate). This year brought together multifarious colourful individuals together from the water throwing terrorists to the dumb jocks, party-animal-nerds, singers, actors, debaters, photographers and general narcissists.

The year began with the imminent danger of ragging and all our fears became personified as the A2s harassed us. Them pedophiles! Next, before we knew it, there was all this shouting, screaming, running about and drumming because it was Election time!! Cutting to the chase, Salman Bhooka, Rasool Bhai, Injila Aatey ki Bori and Mrs. Salvatore (Yumna) succeeded to their much awaited thrones of the Student Council. Though, I swear to God that I kept my promise and voted for every single contestant, because I promised them my vote when they had approached me with a puppy-dog face.

 

In a year when Germany scored more goals than Chapter played matches, we held 3 sporting events that were, perhaps, more mundane than an evening with Amir Liaqat's show - Inam ghar. First off was the Obstacle Course Race which illustrated just how fit and elegant the physical capacity of Chapter's student body is. Swinging forward, we were met with an Inter-house Futsal Tournament which I rocked and won for the Red House, just so we're clear on that. We also had ourselves a Basketball tournament but not much is known about this except the fact that the Yellow House effortlessly swept everyone aside and won. Oh yeah, and there was a bunch of other stuff too, but no one cares.

"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!" -He still did it better than Miley.

Now, moving on to the Chapter Events, the first thing that hit us was the Welcome Party, A.K.A "Desi Tarka" and it hit us really hard. I almost forgot where I was and couldn't even recognize the girls. Everyone seemed quite .. fresh, and this obviously meant that they had to be honoured in every.possible.way. Geez, don't suspect for a second Dr. Hannibal Lecter! I only meant to say that they indeed were honoured in.every.possible.way. Specially Mehak. We all know that our Facebook Newsfeeds were overflowing, or much rather, OOZING with her photos with every single person belonging to Chapter's A Level Section. Well, let us not be jealous. Preach. At least we got our FB Covers and Dp's too, on the bright side?

Maarij: I write it rough. This is my design.
Rohan: I can probably backstab and still win this match alone with my gamingzz.
Shaheer: Not KGS again.. no..
Maarij Jr.: I look just like my brother. Should I be happy about it?  

Fast forward, Chapter started to mean business and business was good, providing innovative ideas straight from the minds of future entrepreneurs, hence the tag of 'Entreship'. This was one heck of a prestigious event about which the PAFIANEUR society will endlessly brag. Guess they found a way to speak and top their biryani. Speaking of speaking, the pride of our school, the PSS went out and actually did things. They were the third best delegation at ZABMUN, the best team at The Nationals Parliamentary debate, semifinalists at the Lobo Debating championship and of course, they also won the PSDC which they themselves organized, but that's none of my business..

This year, we Turned Down for What as Hoozier took us to church when Ariana Grande told us to Love her harder, but Maroon 5 found the Map and Taylor Swift took us home and told us to Shake It Off. Shake off what, though? Our feral dance moves that came out loose in the Welcome Party as Chapter's Music Society put up quite a show for us.

From being Chapter's street guitarist to becoming the Music
Society's Head, Fahad has had it rough.

The Music Society is one awesome Society that we have here. From making masterful covers of songs to putting up a fantastic performance at Obhartay Sitaray and to providing a background music of Pink Panther when someone was getting lectured by their Economics teacher for bunking their Economics' class. Arsheela and Sakina, you know it only made the situation funnier than it already was. *wink*

 

Though, let us not forget about our friends at the Outreach Society who went out of their way and did plenty of charity work, notably their donations for the Blind Kids' Association and their trips to Darul Sukoon to help the less fortunate.

Though, this is not all that happened with us this year, is it? We were all living our happy lives when a FB Page name 'Pakoras of PAF Chapter' sprung up, targeting us innocents. They put up our pictures with funny (for you) yet ridiculing (for us) captions. On the bright side, though, at least some of us got recognized. Ah! That warmth of the spotlight. *harmonious harps playing in the distance*
Other than this, Chapter's Veena and Meera became the centre of attention AND attraction (for the guys) when their amusing acts got exposed on Chapter's Blog. Speaking of which, the SBT also introduced their new segment this year. Yes, the ISpy. As much as you all enjoyed reading it, you all practically ran for your life when you saw Sakina looking at you with a very placid and sweet expression plastered on her face. Know that you can run, you can hide but you can't escape our eyes, because we've got the eye of the tiger and the eye of Sauron.
And last, but not the least, PAFMUN's marketing just transcended all obstructions this year. Just when we thought the marketing was being trite, some DPs caught our eyes on FB. Way to go, Marketing Department! *throws fists in the air* *literally just throws them away*

Marketing done right.

And That's All Folks! (Bugs Bunny voice)
Aforementioned are certain highlights of 2014. We experienced some grief and horror just quite recently, but most importantly, we accomplished far more. A new year is not just meant to aimlessly celebrate; it's the dawn of a new era. It is a new beginning; we can start afresh and atone our mistakes of the previous year. Though, most importantly, it's the perfect opportunity to recall and laugh at the history we made, rather than sulk at the kind of history we had hoped to make and simply look forward to making the history of our lifetime, in the coming year.
So, rejoice, stay positive and keep reading Chapter's Blog.

Until we meet again, happy-almost-new-year.

Sincerely,
The Student Blogging Team.

ENTRESHIP '14: They Meant Business

Written by: Sakina Abbas

PAF Chapter’s very own PAFIANEUR Corporate Society recently took a step forward by holding a business event namely ‘Entreship 2014’. Aside from being renowned for selling the best Biryani on Campus, PAFIANEUR Society is now also commendable for organizing the Entreship ‘14.

It was a two-day event that was held on the 21st and the 22nd of November 2014, within the very confinements of our sanctuary, The City School PAF Chapter. Now, if you think you’re going to be shoved with the factual and the boring details of this event, then you’re mistaken and I’m rather disappointed that you could even expect a somber write-up from us. After all, we are the SBT and we aim to please. *wink*

Albeit, if there is anything serious that you need to know, then it’s just this that Entreship ‘14 was a two-day Business event in which many delegations participated, there were different judges for every event and the cash prize was that of 15,000 PKR.
These are just the boring details and are quite insignificant in comparison to what I have in store for you. So listen up, people, and listen close. *flickers a flashlight and places it under the face, illuminating it in the creepiest of ways*

As mentioned earlier, Entreship ‘14 took place on the 21st and 22nd of November. Now, for this highly prestigious event, I was offered a highly prestigious post by the highly prestigious human, Mr. Huzaifa Petiwala - President of Entreship ‘14. Yes, lads. He asked me to be in charge of the Publications for this event. Did you notice that I did not write ‘Department’ after ‘Publications’? Of course, you must have. It is written that way because there WAS no Publications Department, which is why I was not exactly the Director Publications and which is why I had to work with only two of my sidekicks, Shehroze Shaikh and Shahzeb Gilani. Upon recent further inquiries, I got this:

This. Is. Outrageous.

Geez, talk about embarrassment! And what’s worse is that on the first day of Entreship, I just got handed a card that had the dreadful word ‘VOLUNTEER’ printed across its surface. No mention of Publications, let alone something signifying my ‘highly prestigious post’. Although, the Director Sponsorships - Ahad Hasan gave us an idea which my sidekicks and I readily copied:

Well, something's better than something worse..

Having sorted this out, all of us scurried off in different directions so as to go about our duties. The event was relatively short on the first day and everything was proceeded without any hinderances and/or delays. And this was all because of us - the volunteers. Though, speaking of volunteers, something, or much rather, something that someone did just hit my mind. Ladies and gentlemen, this is none other than Talha Ahmed. Oh, come on now, don’t look so disappointed. Chapter's Veena and Meera are not the only entertainers around here, so cut them some slacks.

As I was just saying, Talha had the audacity to put up an act of entertainment before us when, while strolling, he casually kicked off an empty disposable water bottle without once noticing that one of the judges was walking right behind him. Uh-oh. *covers face* Talk about embarrassment! Though, it did not turn out to be as embarrassing for him because the Judge was nice enough to say, “Koi baat nahi, beta. Esi umar mein esi ghaltiyan hoti rehti hein aur hum inhe sey tou seekhtey hein. Koi baat nahi.”

Now, unlike the first day, the second day of Entreship kicked off with enthusiasm and zeal. The events serving to be the integral parts of the Competition proved to be quite fun and enjoyable. Honestly. It was fun watching the delegates giving presentations on their products. Quite frankly speaking, I liked their ideas. There was a crack-fixing spray, which, if sprayed in cracks, filled it with something so the cracks would be ‘fixed’. Is it just me or does this seem QUITE handy and useful, eh? *wink*
Other than this, there was a helmet, which, if worn while riding a bike, would give the rider directions to his desired locations. This may sound interesting, but if it is EVER regulated, I’m sure we will all be hearing “MAYDAY! MAYDAY!” from the bikers. Call me sexist or whatever, but when guys can’t seem to tolerate the directions given by Siri, their wives, sisters or even mothers, how exactly feel would they feel when their heads are shrouded by a female voice? See? Not a good implication at all. This product will be your stairway to the hospital, or a mortuary, if you’re lucky enough.
Likewise, there were some other interesting products too, most of which I don’t seem to recall. However, just like the two mentioned above, the others also had interesting implications and it all seemed quite amusing.

Now, the most interesting part of Entreship ‘14 was ... FREE FOOD. Yes, you read it correctly. All volunteers and delegates were given FREE FOOD by the organizers. Thank-you, Huzaifa and Ahmed. The food was scrumptious. Almost everyone ate to their fill, however, due to a crisis, my sidekicks did not get to devour the free food. Just how amusing is that? But you know who’s more amusing? This guy, who ate the contents from two or three boxes:

The food disposal machine

In addition to the United King’s boxes, the organizers also got packets of Biryani for us. JUST HOW COOL, I MEAN, HOT IS THAT?!

Another interesting thing that happened on the second day was that my beloved Peter (Chapter’s cute kitty) took a poop right in front of the Computer Lab. *giggles* But you know what was MORE interesting? Our beloved President Huzaifa stepped over it. Need I elucidate this previous sentence with a sprinkle of sarcasm on the top? I think that sentence, alone, will suffice.

Albeit, in the midst of the plethora of amusements, embarrassments, exuberance, excitement and enthusiasm, Entreship ‘14 was indeed a successful event. Considering the fact that almost everything was decided and prepared at the eleventh hour and that aside from the Biryani sales, it was the FIRST EVER EVENT OF ITS KIND to be held in Chapter, it turned out to be a massive success. So, heartiest congratulations to our President-Huzaifa-whose-shoe-got-smeared-with-cat-poop, our faarig-Vice-President-Mahzaib-who-would-scream-at-her-volunteers-then-quickly-apologise, and the Directors, namely Sadaf Tabani, Ali Carbohydrate, Nimrah Javed, Ahmed Mujtaba, Ahad Hasan, Ayesha Wahid, Khurrum Kamran, Usama Khawar and last but not the least, myself. Well, I was almost a Director..

*sniff sniff*

 
Then, congratulations to all the Assistant Directors, Deputies and the Volunteers. Lastly, a massive shout-out to my sidekicks, Shehroze-makkai-wala and Shahzeb-I-forgot-my-Mommy’s-name. Publications would not have been fun without them, period.

Highlights of ENTRESHIP '14:

"You will never be as cool as us."



The ENTRESHIP family

Opening Ceremony.. I think.

KK's here.

KK's there.



KK's EVERYWHERE!



These people at work: a rare sight captured.



She's faarig and she knows it.

 

No sarcastic caption here. Why would I make fun of myself?

Now, please take a moment to recognize Mr. Huzaifa Petiwala, who has been complaining that no one was aware of him being the President of ENTRESHIP '14. We may criticize him and his indulgences with Peter's poop as much as we want to, but irrespective of all the aforesaid, Huzaifa is the unsung hero of ENTRESHIP '14. He is the man who made it all possible. He is the reason Entreship was a success. And most importantly, he is the man I owe my thanks to, for.. FREE FOOD.

"Left Job at Entreship" - still a more sentimental story than TFIOS.

May the legacy of ENTRESHIP live on!

A Gathering of the Noobs and the Nincompoops: The NUST Olympiad '14

Written by: S.M. Ali Ul Haque (A1-C3)

It was a beautiful day on the 17th of October, as The PAF Chapter Gaming Society eyed its first competition of the semester. Well, that was the plan anyway.
We all got there around 4 pm only to notice an empty parking lot. Brushing that aside, we made our way to the reception where the receptionist asked us what we had come for. Oh, but of course! We're here to trim the garden! Not like there's an Olympiad here or something.. oh wait, we're here for a Competition. After a lengthy and an unnecessary conversation about our intent and why we didn't have ID cards, we were let in. First thing you notice at the venue of a competition is the buzz of activity and an indistinct noise of people chattering away, right? But this time, it was so quiet that I swear I heard a cat meow 80 metres away.
Anyway, we got on with that and met our 'Guide' who was complacent beyond life. Very casually, he swept aside our queries and baffled looks with a "chill out" here and a "just relax, bro" there. He then explained to us where we had to be, so we parted ways with each other and headed to our respective rooms.
I arrived in the Fifa Room only to find the organizers playing 'Winner to Stay'. I mean.. this is supposed to be a competition organised by a nationally recognized university, but okay, no problem here. Our Guide told us to "chill out". When they finally saw us, I could see they were wearing expressions of bewilderment on their faces. Should it not have been the other way round? I swear the Head had spaced out for a good 3 seconds, following which they regained composure and initiated the Competition among the 4 of us. Albeit we were part of the same team, we couldn't face each other in the first round, as per the rules.
I started the match only to find my controller is faulty. I quickly paused the match and complained. The Organizer said that he would arrange one in a minute. Little did I know that his one minute is equivalent to thirty minutes! Because it was just a matter of half an hour when my Guardian Angel finally decided to fulfill my wish and presented me with a functional controller. Following this intriguing episode, we finally began playing the match. My first match against one of my friends, Shehzad, resulted in a draw. Then all of a sudden, this guy comes in and goes like, "Sorry, I'm late". Must've been fate or something. He was the guy I was supposed to play next, so the Organizers shifted my match back an hour and put my colleagues, Noman and Arham Soleja against each other, in which Noman easily defeated Arham by a margin of 4 goals to nill. He went on to boast about it as if he had won the world cup. Fairplay, though.
Later, I played my opponent Nabil. I was able to defeat him without much difficulty by a margin of 3 goals to 2. Right After my match, I began to feel thirsty so I asked one of the Organizers to get me some water. He looked at me with discontent and said, "Wait, mein scene karta houn." After this, he whipped out an old Pepsi bottle, drank it, got up, vanished for 15 minutes and finally came back with water that tasted like Pepsi and a bit of Mountain Dew.
Afterwards, near the end of the day, Shehzad got to play too. He won his match as well by a scoreline that even he himself doesn't remember. Must've been a boring encounter because according to the Fifa commandments, you must boast about every victory. Finally, by the end of the day, we had all qualified for the next round, except for Arham, for obvious reasons.
Now I honestly thought that our event was badly managed, but then I met up with the Counterstrike team. They told me tales of true hardship and such that I couldn't even begin to imagine. They played without proper equipment. No headphones and their Organizers had a stunning lack of knowledge about the game. They did not even know how to switch sessions! Just fantastic. And to top it off, when the Team asked for the required gears, the Organizers promptly said that they'll have to bring their own. But somehow, they emerged victorious too.
After a day of being sent in circles, all of us were ready to head home, but it wasn't over yet. They stopped us on the way and began promoting their social events, especially the Carnival, which was to commence in an hour. They told us that we simply had to attend it. They said, "It'll be the best carnival ever!!" But having seen enough of their worldclass management and arrangements, we all looked at each other, gave them a positive response like all good delegations should, then left immediately.
Most of us didn't attend the second day of the Olympiad. Firstly, because of the city conditions and secondly, because you need some shaman-level patience to go through THAT again!

Rag-Me-Not

-Inshirah Tahir

THE TORTURES OF BEING A JUNIOR!
So first day, new people, new life, and the red bricks and…
The utterly dreadful, horrifying and completely embarrassing aspect of *pauses for suspense music* getting ragged.
I remember walking in the morning and seeing the all-so innocent faces of our seniors and thinking that ‘those were just rumours, right? These people look way too nice to rag’, but boy were we wrong! They say that it was a tradition and our seniors left no stone was unturned when it came to living up to that tradition of making nervous, anxious and terrified juniors more miserable. Such fun, no?
Let me just begin by saying that we, in the spirit of ragging, were made to do things that we had never even imagined in our lives. And we, the girls, who were all too convinced that the delicacy our gender brings would protect us, were beyond wrong, because the senior girls made a point in practically chasing us around campus.
Swarms of seniors were  literally gathered outside every single classroom, just looking for the opportunity to present itself so they could ambush. Know that once you step out of the boundaries of your class you are game, all guards down and no arms, completely at the mercy of the enemy.
They started with disfiguring our appearance; rubbing glitter and paint and what not all over our faces, even picking up stationary and casually scribbling over our first-day-of-school shiny white uniforms. Who asked for the autograph? *annoyed face* The marks their visits left on our uniforms further presented us as targets for anyone who needed one. The obvious thing to do was run to the restroom but no, that's no safe haven either. How could they let nature's call stop them from making us miserable? They follow you, and lock you up in there. No offense, but have you seen the restrooms here? Yeah, it was hell.
The seniors not only stripped us of our dignity but also our riches (Rs.100 doesn't make you rich. Editors here.), we did not even have to contemplate over lunch choices for we could no longer afford anything (yeah right, cause your "riches" could've bought you the whole canteen?) and for the rare few who actually managed to savage food for themselves, it was taken away in the name of ‘first day treats'.
If you think people lack confidence walking into their new campuses on the first day, imagine being in the crowd of over six hundred 'amazing' students and having to sing out loud. Not just songs but nursery rhymes too or having to dance to the most embarrassing of routines with everyone watching until the viewers are satisfied *wears sand bag over face*
Set this aside, imagine getting your beautiful nails painted in school or walking around freely with make-up on. Dream come true, isn't it? The only setback, you are a guy! Yes exactly!  Guys had to go through forced makeovers on their first days of school and had their faces plastered with lipsticks, blushes, liners. (Female editors: They have a right to look pretty too y'know) (Male editor: Humein chorr do, humaray haal pay) Literally the whole package and mostly the poor people couldn't even wash it off. (Editors: there's this thing called water-proof make-up)
There were even times when these oh-so determined seniors went as far as actually entering classes and entertaining themselves right there. (Editors: O behen kia keh rahi ho?) Yes, that was the agony of our first day *wipes tears*. Us poor souls with no refuge whatsoever were powerless in the face of the cruel plans of the opposing A2 forces (You make it sound so wrong, woman); but worry not we will have our vengeance soon enough, soon enough indeed. *evil laugh* (editors: ...still waiting *yawn*).

However to be entirely honest by the end of the day most people had had a good laugh. Will we continue this tradition next year or not is entirely up to us (editors: not really kiddo, thats the office's decision) but one thing is for certain, a little harmless ragging and some teasing doesn't offend anyone *Peace*

-Ahmed Mujtaba.

LES MISERABLES.

So let us begin with the cliché of ”better late than never”. Well I say this because it has nearly been two months since we “welcomed” our esteemed AS. However, this “LEGEN-wait for it –DARY “event of traditional RAGGING needs to be the hightlight of our very own PAF Chapter’s Blog.
So kids, it all began like any other day but this was no ordinary day. Why?  Well, because you see it was  1st September, the fated day for the arrival of our now-beloved AS. And unbeknownst to them we were waiting secretly to ambush them, like Na-Maloom Afrad waiting for the cash in on protests. Even though the authorities were on high alert (that’s not saying much though) and we had been forbidden to harass our lovely bachas on the grounds of ragging being “unethical-trauma-inducing-practice” (a little birdie told me). Well our spy network was able to glean these highlights from the overload of delicious-blogging-data that flooded the campus that day.
So this is how it happened... after a few incidents of money snatching, the AS became too afraid to come out of their classes and it was observed that whenever it was asked of a person of their allegiance to a class, an AS would turn on their heels and run like TURBO. But being the fastest snail did not help much because the elders were on a whole new level.
A couple (or so it seemed ) were found indulged near the canteen. The “gentlemen” inside us let the girl go but the boy-who-lived-later was made to do a pole dance and give up his money (Most people would GET money for that *wink*). What's shocking is not the tragedy that befell our friend but his willingness to be a part of this ordeal (Shoqiya mizaaj kay thay bhai).
Moreover, a friend of mine from the “blogging team” was dragged out of Sir Aijaz’s class and poured water on. Not only that, Oh no, they ran after him, kicked him and took his money. “Bechara”. He had to seek political asylum in Miss Naureen ‘s office. Way to go Khawar. #classicpakistanipoliticalstyle.
The chronicles do not end there, I myself found a little AS  near the end of the day and God knows I made the most out of that opportunity. I put lipstick on Anas while Imad and Waleed modrerated our performance (Editor here: Imad Aleem and Waleed bin Khalid ragged people? Qayaamat aanay wali hai.)
Also, it has been reported that girls were running while miscreants chased them with water bottles. Hmm. No sign of the authorities *looks over the horizon*
While people danced, sang and gave money to our Hit Squad, we took valuable notes. Well that’s how we roll . This is journalism, we got to eat dudes. (Editors: You ate dudes?) ...Okay, "eat, dudes".
Furthermore Shiraz reported that they made off with a couple of thousands and another friend quoted “last time, they did it to us. So we got even” . I agree (that’s the spirit).
So that’s all folks *bugs bunny voice*. Oh, but wait. Next day a friend of mine was kicked out of the class because he was ragging in the grounds (though he was forgiven, later ). Also, reports came flooding in that OUR SUPER SHERIFF MISS HILA was on the roll and many miscreants were detained while the heinous acts ensued on the first. Many were made Criminal Informants later while they left on probation (that’s the gossip so I guess we have a mole, I keep mine as a pet though ). And sanctuary was provided by Miss Naureen while the teachers reported those who got impatient and broke into classes. Snow sprays , BABY LIPS and other contrabands were also confiscated.
*PEACE*