Big Things Come in Small (..like, really small) Packages

Written By: Nida Fatima

We’re going to kick off this year’s ‘Humans of Chapter’ posts with a particularly special cookie. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Wait, is it the LOTR ‘cause I’m pretty sure that’s a hobbit???? Oh, nevermind, it’s just Faryal.

She goes by many names such as Faryal, Farz, Littler Wayne, Shortstack, Shortie etc. At a resounding 5’2”, get on her bad side and tiny here can manage to knock you out in one fair swoop.  

Now, I’m sure we all have that one friend who everyone takes a liking to. The fabulous lady I’m going tell you about is definitely that friend.

Let’s get one thing straight from the start: Faryal is one of the very few actually genuine people you will have the pleasure of meeting.

Okay, so, I’m not going to lie. She’s a wee bit on the crazier side of the female spectrum. But, hey the crazy ones know how to have the most fun. Would she kick a truck for fun? Hell yeah. She would level up. She would drive the truck off a freeway for fun. Trust me. If she can cartwheel down a flight of stairs and jump off the first floor all in the name of fun, this chick can do anything. Yes, yes, I know she may not be the sharpest crayon of the bunch when it comes to these things, but real talk though; this girl is hella ace.

Just a warning, if you hear something that sounds like nails scratching a chalkboard in the halls, Don’t! Be! Alarmed! It’s just Faryal singing. She’s the girl that you will find dancing in the middle of the dance floor if her jam is on. You DO   N O T    get in between a girl and her jam. We clear? Okay, good. ‘Cause if you try, you will FOR SURE get cut.

Remember that time you heard demonic screeching and wondered whether the world was ending because Hell had been unleashed on Earth? Still need an explanation? Fret not, it was just Faryal freaking out over a bird thinking it could invade her personal space. Meaning it was 20 ft away from her and she started screeching. Clearly not about that #NetflixAndChill life when it comes to birds, aye, Faryal?

While Faryal hates birds and questions their reason for existence she loves* her friends.

(*May be subjected to provision of food and entertainment.)

But the one thing she isn’t particularly keen on, is Plastics. I mean, nobody likes plastics unless you’re one of them. If you’re a plastic and you know it,I suggest you stay away from this chick unless you want to get cut.

RUN far… F A R away.

We all have that one crazy friend who we could never live without. Faryal IS that friend. With her hair up in that hella sassy ponytail she could literally pull a Beyonce. #WhoRunTheWorldGirls

Girls like Faryal and I are an acquired taste. Love us, hate us, but you can’t ignore us. Consider yourself #Blessed if you have Faryal or someone like her in your life. She will love you for who you are and never ever judge you**. (She may cut you, but she ain’t ever gon’ judge you.)

**Unless you’re an absolute idiot (like some people… you know who you are), in which case..

PS: Faryal, I know you’re reading this. You my go to. *insert four crying-laughing-dying emojis here*

Masquerade 2015 ...or was it?

Written By: Ali Ul-Haque, Arbaz (iforgothislastname) and Faryab Haye 

From the school which can’t even keep PAFMUN alive, they bring to you The Most Inconsistent Masquerade Ever.. featuring everything but masks, couple’s dancing, food, proper lighting and a dress code….. actually you know what, I don’t think it was a masquerade but (damn) I’ll tell you what it was……..
                             it was the most fun you’ll have until PAFMUN (gets cancelled again).

Now I’ll be honest here, when I saw the setup at school I was immediately excited to be a part of yet another Valima. Needless to say I was incredibly disappointed… I mean, it's PAF chapter, where’s the mandatory Biryani? (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)     (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)    Oh well, at the very least we were able to keep one tradition alive; The tradition of bad entertainment in the event..

The event kicked off with Saad Khalid, singing “Take me to Church”, on Fridaythe 13th, in a school built beside a mosque, like.. basically all we’re missing is a Bar Mitzvah, and it’d be the most culturally diverse performance ever. (MAZEL TOV SAAD, MAZEL TOV) . Then we had our very own Oompa Loompa.. Danial Baghpatti.. (Yes, that is his actual name) showing us all that the biggest of things could come in the smallest of packages, by small I mean, really small. Thank you for the “short” appearance Peter Dinklage.

Then some various, certain people tried to bring booty back, really good job guys, I thoroughly enjoyed that..(No homo). 

Speaking of minorities we had a stand-up roast session by the only two people in school who should be in jail. We’re talking about a ‘comedy’ session so offensive it had to be PAFMUNed (#ifywim) but they still managed to get the ‘message’ across.

(Right, Nofal. Freedom of speech.. geddit geddit).


This was followed by a skit which was the biggest insult to the Punjabi’s since Gullu Butt.. proving to us all that PAF chapter would never be known for it’s acting skills. After that we had a DANCE OFF (thank you Chris Pratt) between the A2’s and the AS. A performance thoroughly enjoyed by everyone with a family orientated tribute to BB ky vines. This incredibly competitive, overly dramatic and highly biased dance off was won by the A2’s but then again it is really really really hard to lose a competition which you organize, grade and take part in.

Then came three men, three extremely talented men who collectively ruined some of the best songs of our generation; they took the science out of The Scientist; they took The Rock (sorry Mr. Dwayne) out of We Will Rock You and they managed to swing  (╯◕_◕)╯ my (╯◕_◕)╯ life (╯◕_◕)╯ away….. literally.

The night was still ripe when came two people who would rekindle the event. Yes! Saad Habib and Zarmina Faizan, who reminded us that you can go a long way with some good traditional desi songs.

After them came our very own Shamoom bhai who indulged us with his poetry (Shahiry). Anyone who got the shahiry (and the most of ones who didn’t), all proclaimed Wah Wah! Wah Wah!

Then the lights turned off and everyone gathered to watch a VERY ORIGINAL (not like last year’s movie was the exact same or anything) film created by our very own Chapter Studios.

After all of the excellent performances and gimmicks came the highlight of the event.
The part everyone expcets in a Masqerade! (Uhm, kind of?)

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞        (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞  THE RAVE. DUDUDUDUDUDU.

People threw away their masks and scooted to the dance floor as the DJ setup on stage. There were funky lights, loud music, people jumping up and down, and kicking each other in the faces as they tried to exhibit their perfectionist dancing skills.

Oye hoye, kia baat hei Mister!

Everyone danced until they heard the food was served. After all, they were all bound to be hungry after showing off their killer (… ok maybe not so much) moves.
Food > Dancing! Am I right? No?                          Ok..

Moving on.. The entree consisted of mainly Chinese… okay… only Chinese. But there was dessert which included cakes, Cocomo and marshmallows and CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS (⊙_◎)

Some people finished the marshmallows even before anyone knew they even existed in the first place (*cough* Uzair and Taimoor looking at you *cough*). After eating up, everyone went right back to the dance floor for a final dance off. The rave ended and everyone was sent to or, rather, thrown out of the gate.

I guess we can safely say, this year’s welcome was by all means, EPIC. It had breathtaking performances which included dances, singing, poetry, awesome videos (thanks Mohsin!) and even a play. Well, duh, it had some cons (thoray aur pankhay laga detai yar, pesay mujh se lelayte) but nothing’s perfect.

The student council did an exceptional job at organizing the party. (And yes, Vinay, you too)
Only in chapter can we pull off a Masqerade without wearing masks!

CHESS MATE- CHESS TOURNAMENT 2015

Written by Romesa Hassan.

Chess Tournament? Chess Tournament.

When Waleed Bin Khalid was asked as to why he conducted this competition 'alongside Imad'. This was his reply:

1.       Last year The Buddy Support Society wasn’t able to do it.

2.      Imad begged me to arrange it.

3.      I was bored.

4.      Imad and I want world dominance.

...The first two reasons, well okay. Even the third one is quite justifiable but, uhm, yeah Waleed I hardly doubt that this chess tournament is going help you and Imad achieve world dominance. Just saying. To be very honest when I first saw the post about this tournament on Facebook I laughed out loud, *sorry you two* but to my utter surprise many people ended up participating! Well I guess enough with my rambling and let’s get down to every petty detail about this tournament, that lasted for a whole three weeks. I will take this moment to point out that despite the fact that this tournament lasted for three weeks the “management” (mainly Imad and Waleed. No actually, just Imad and Waleed) did not arrange for any photographers. *Tch tch tch* Very poor management skills guys.

Imad Aleem was the chief organizer and Waleed Bin Khalid acted in the capacity of President Buddy Support Society. The tournament, which initially included twenty eight participants kicked off with twenty six on the 11^th of February . Out of the twenty six participants, only three of were girls, namely Sara Sadiq, who withdrew as fast as Taylor Swift breaks up with her boyfriends and comes up with a new hit single, Saira Rizvi and Abeer Lakhani. Yup you can just see the gender stereotype playing out right there despite Imad’s “persuasive” announcement which I quote was as follows, “ This tournament is open for both boys and girls so that we can attract all the feminists in chapter"  Sources tell me that Saira Rizvi was given an easy opponent just so that she’d progress to the next round, unfortunately she didn’t, much to Imad’s dismay.

The matches were arranged with respect to every participant’s free periods and were conducted in the Resource Room. The official match time was forty minutes. Round One consisted of thirteen matches, Round Two seven, Quarter Final eight, Semi finals two, *wow no wonder the tournament lasted for three weeks* and then finally the Final! Each opponent was made to sign a form to ensure fairness. The matches were supervised by arbiters namely, Imad, Ahmad Shahid and Waleed. In the first round quite a few matches ended within two minutes. Clearly some of the participants were under a lot of stress. At one occasion, Taha Ansari took out an opponent’s chess piece using the opponent’s own piece. *Much Wow* A lot of spectators turned out to watch the matches, I being one of them. But I was usually kicked out or silenced because apparently,I have a ‘voice’ and I get ‘overexcited’. Sheeeshhh, it’s not a crime to be loud, okay? *okay.* I must say though, that the matches were pretty intense and were fun to watch. Finally after many well contested matches the Final was contested. Muhammad Arsalan and Abdullah Abdul Ghani were the two finalists. The Resource Room was filled with spectators and the match was also shown on a projector.

Battle of the...the, uh, idk, whatever chess term there is for this situation...

In end Muhammad Arsalan triumphed and the three week long tournament finally came to an end.

PS: The effort of Imad and Waleed is highly commendable because the whole tournament was extremely well managed. *Cheers*

LUMUN XI-An Unforgettable Journey

 Written by Inshirah Tahir


The Public Speaking Society of PAF Chapter prepared for LUMUN XI with all their devotion; they were expecting numerous things. A competition of enormous magnitudes that would test the very best of their speaking skills and their intellect, they expected to have a wonderful time surrounded by their teammates and enjoy much talked about winter of Lahore! However what they did not expect was that their teammates will soon turn into their closest friends, that they will make memories and share jokes that will stay with them for life! Despite the competition, they will learn more from the conference than they could have ever imagined ans that they will push their stamina and intellect to the very limit and come out adding four more awards to PAF Chapter's LUMUN legacy!

Now a little insight on what happened before the conference, so if any of you had the chance to meet any of the delegates a day or two before they left, you would have been witness to the stress they were under at the time. Was the cause of this the immensely hard competition they were soon to face? Uhhmm Not really, this was actually caused by the fact that with only a few hours remaining till the conference was scheduled to commence, they were still unsure about their personalities and committees. One of the delegates actually ended up walking into the competition only to learn that his assigned personality did not even exist! *Much wow* However despite all predicaments, on the 12^th of February a group of twelve students including, Mohammed Rohan, Najam Hassan, Usama Khawar, Inshirah Tahir, Maha Malik, Sitwat Atiq, Abdullah Zahid along with students from the O Levels Section, Shahrukh Waseem, Haysam Azhar, Sara Intikhab, Ghazal Qadri and Mohammed Ibrahim left for the train station accompanied by their team facilitator, Mr. Yelmaz Mujtaba. The train ride thereon started with some people feeling slightly claustrophobic  but then getting used to it after a while. Some of us were busy enjoying bottles of Nutella, bags of Lays and what not. We were really sleepy but at the same time too ecstatic to sleep. There were also those who were constantly trying  to escape to a quiet corner to research but would soon be consumed again in the hilarious ongoing conversations. Then before we knew it, we were in Lahore, hauling our luggage, we moved on in the city which was to be our home for the next few days.

Loading into two vans, our next stop was the Beverly Inn, the so called “three star” accommodation arranged for the delegates. However, after hours of waiting around in the lobby we were finally taken to our rooms and let me tell you that all it took was one look at the room to decide that there was no way any one of us was going to stay( read survive) there. Between the utterly unhygienic furniture to the holes in the walls (including one in the roof where sat a pigeon), to evidences of “THINGS” that would scar one for life; we were, uhmm, let's just say very uneasy. We therefore decided to haul our luggage from the rooms and escape as quick as our feet would carry us. Soon enough, thanks to Usama, three rooms were arranged for us that were in immaculate condition and were located right next to the Alama Iqbal Airport.

*sigh* 

Finally, we proceeded to the actual conference, reaching LUMS (Lahore University of Management Sciences). It was obvious that everyone was reconsidering whatever their previous University preferences had been, the main charm was of course the fact that the red bricks reminded us of the PAF Chapter itself. We took a couple of rounds around the campus and found ourselves just moments away from the commencement of the competition. Committees like, DISEC, SPECPOL, SNOWDEN COMMISION, THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM, SOCHUM, LEGAL, ILO, ARCTIC COUNCIL and UNSCW ignited excitement and fear in us. What followed were three days of immense debating, bashing,  trying to get resolutions passed and sheer diplomacy. There were times when we thought we had lost it, only to realize how to get up again. Then there were those moments that made us believe that we could easily win this only to be hit with a big dose of reality!  Throughout this mayhem each member acted like a support system, some  helped others with their  research, rephrasing resolutions, while others were selflessly guiding one another at the expense of their own sleep. One person who was a priceless motivation the entire time was our mentor, Mr. Yelmaz Mujtaba. He selflessly and tirelessly backed us up no matter what. 

The competition had a total of eight sessions. Moderated caucuses were raised that divided the actual topics into subtopics for formal discussions followed by un-moderated caucuses which included completely informal discussions which tested the delegates convincing power. Towards the end a draft resolution was prepared and passing this marked the end of the competition. Thus after exhausting debates and sleepless nights infront of our laptops, we all proceeded to the closing ceremony, each of us well aware of the fact that we gave the best we could. Knowing that no matter what happens we were content because surely this was a learning experience like none other. When it was time for the announcement of the awards we held our breath and exploded with joy and cheered when four of our teammates come out winning  honourable mentions which included, Mohammad Rohan from SC, Maha Malik from ILO, Sitwat Atiq from SOCHUM and Inshirah Tahir from WEF.

This trip was barely just about the competition, it was a hub of priceless memories. Sitting around LUMS at places like the Khoka or Zakir Tikka or Jammin Java and discussing everything from strategies to gossips to every joke in the world. Some of us including myself “ate” coffee (yes, seriously) just so that we could stay awake for the remainder of the day *that was one heck of an experience*  The aimless walks around LUMS will be forever remembered! Finally after the closing ceremony we all had a meal from Hardees and then after getting some much needed rest packed up our bags and left for the station. This time the train ride was a little nostalgic as no one wanted the trip to end but was still too fun to be forgotten! There were the movies we watched on our way back while munching on pizza, with thirteen people cramped up in a room made for six and the games we played to interrogate each other and whatnot. *Wink wink I am sure those who went with us would understand the interrogation part* The afternoon of Tuesday, 17^th February saw us arrive back in Karachi and put an end to the journey we will surely never forget.

All in all one thing is for sure, the few days we spent as part of LUMUN included everything from tears to laughter to missing our friends back home to making amazing friends out of  our teammates, to learning more than we could have ever thought, and lastly coming back and making everyone at the red bricks so very proud!

Edited by: Romesa Hassan

Football > Life: Girls' Edition.

Written by Shehroze Shaikh

For everyone who hasn't seen it before, picture some girls playing football. Close your eyes, and picture it. What do you see?
Something like this, maybe?

Sorry to burst your little bubble, my fellow men.

Well, no. This is what it looked like on Tuesday.

Yep, it was intense.

Blue moon was up in Chapter on Tuesday, as the girl's football team, I repeat, THE GIRL's FOOTBALL TEAM took control of the futsal court for an inter...I don't know what you call a match between the A2s and the AS. Inter-class...uh, Inter-year...Inter-racia...NO, damn, whatever, not important.

To wrap it up, here is the view of the first half, as described by a spectator, Zaryab Khan:

"It was an amazing atmosphere. For some spectators, it was the first time they were watching a live girls' futsal game. Never had such a large crowd gathered at PAF Chapter for a game. Team White kicked things off. The match started off well. For the first few minutes, it was hard to decide who was playing well. We eventually saw Team White taking down on Team Blue with their pace and attack. Injila, Romesa and Mehak, the team captain, showed an amazing game. It wasn't long before Lawaiza's goal kick error turned out to be a nightmare for Team Blue, as Mehak finished off the chance with an amazing goal. We saw Team White approaching more towards the the goal with 3 shots on target leaving team blue with no shots in the first half at all."
In the second half, both teams scored once, as the match finished 2-1 in favour of team White. THE END. Kbye.
.
.
.
.
Okay that was uncalled for, and boring, because there was sooooooo much more that happened. Here is my version of the day's game, the SBT style.

It was a one-off contest, A2s vs As, and the prize? Bragging rights. The right to be called the inaugural winners of the PAF Chapter's Girls Futsal Contest. Team Blue (As) was captained by Faiza Amir, while Mehak Saleem led Team White (A2).

Captains! All smiles.

The Blues played with Lawaiza Zahid in goal, Mahnoor Imran and Aisha Zameer gossiping in defense while Maham Zaidi and Faiza Amir played upfront. For the Whites, Mehak Saleem entrusted Maheera Batool with the gloves, and Saira Rizvi and Romesa Hassan to defend, while she partnered Injila Bilal up front. It is quite redundant to mention how the teams lined up, because as soon as Miss Shazia blew the whistle, the women were all over the place. For the first few minutes, there were ALOT of misplaced passes and wayward clearances, some of which even managed to hit the spectating boys in all the wrong places. Now you know why Zaryab thought it was hard to decide who was playing well. Gradually, Team White grew into the game. They constantly put pressure on the opponents, disturbing the Blues' defenders in their gossip on more than one occasion. Credit to them for clearing the danger every time though. It was only a matter of time before a chance was created. Romesa Hassan took advantage of a mishap and found herself in front of goal, but she couldn't control the ball. Her frustration was clearly visible in her angry stomp. Romesa was probably the only player who could actually chip the ball, and I'm still wondering how she had the presence of mind to kick the ball at the opponent and let it run out for a goal kick. HOW ROMESA? HOW?
A while later though, Lawaiza kicked the ball straight to Mehak, who was ruthless this time as she scored the first goal of the contest. It stayed 1-0 into half time.
Half time discussions were a treat to watch and hear. A close ear from Arbaz Mohammad revealed the following conversation:
"Long balls khelo." -Romesa.
"Nai nai, passing karo when we're close." -Mehak
"Mehak, tum center mein raho. Me and Romesa will pass it to you again." -Injila
"Yaar does my hair look okay?" -Saira
...BEHOLD! Saira Rizvi, Chapter's very own Cristiano Ronaldo, more worried about the hair than the match. Well, you can expect that it in a girls' game. Completely normal.

...Blues regroup and discuss their game plan at Half Time,

If there was any hope of a Blues comeback, it was killed off when Aisha Zameer handled the ball and Whites were awarded a penalty. Up stepped Mehak. What a moment! Captain, Coach, Goal Scorer, and now a chance to seal the deal in front of an amazing crowd and cement her place in Chapter history. SHE AIMS, SHE RUNS, SHE SHOOTS AAAANNNNNNDD SHE SSSSSSSSSS....SQUANDERS THE CHANCE. SHE MISSED THE PENALTY. OMG, HOW COSTLY COULD THAT PROVE TO BE?! IS THIS THE START OF A BLUES COMEBACK? No. Moments later, Injila scored to make it 2-0. What an anti-climax. If this was a Bollywood movie, Blues would have won and the angry Whites' supporters in the crowd would have broken Mehak's legs. Years later, she would have returned as a coach to regain her lost pride and would take Chapter's Girls' team to victory. Not to be, though. *sigh*

Yaaaar, Messi ki fan  hun. Wo bhi penalties miss karta hai,

There was some consolation for Blues, as they were awarded a "deserved" penalty, by Miss Shazia. Well, they did deserve it, considering how Whites were runnng circles round them. Captain Faiza Amir stepped up and put it past Maheera to make it 2-1, and that's how it remained till the final whistle. Joy for the White, despair for the Blues. (No racist pun intended)
Apart from the all the in game mistakes, it can safely be said that the match was well received, because let's face it, the boy's inter-house tournament did not attract such a big crowd. Full marks to Mehak, for being adamant in her request to organize the match. After having a great game, minus the penalty, she was all smiles at her achievement. She said:

“It was time that something interesting happened this term. Since we were deprived of playing interschool it became absolutely necessary to arrange an event that could prove to be fun and helpful for the girl's football team. I didn't expect that there actually would be such a big crowd there to watch our match, mainly the guys. I'm extremely proud of how the girls adapted to a game they weren't familiar with. I am now a happy coach, a happy captain. On the request of my team I'm trying to arrange another match with the O'levels as well. Let's see how well things turn out later on!”

Congratulations to both the teams, and a shout out to Miss Shazia, who refereed the whole thing. Ma'am, your patience inspires me.

A football at your feet is the solution to every problem.

ISpy: Edition Five.

Written by Shehroze Shaikh

Aaj kay din...
Tanhaiyaan bhi hain, bechainiyan bhi hain,
Maasoom dil bhi hain, majbooriyan bhi hain,
Sadaayen teri kyun mujhe aati nahin
Tera intizaar hai, mujhe tujhsay pyaar hai...

Mujhe tujhse pyaar hai, tera intizaar haaaaii.. 

Oh, the wait for this baby is killing m...oh wait, you guys thought...14th Feb...Valenti...NO WAY! Valentine's Day can sit this year out 'cause, to quote Madam Tazeen, "World Cup is here!"
*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*ignores*


I won't tell the guys to turn off their phones, because they won't be getting disturbed either. Even our women go crazy over Pakistan vs India dual. However, no matter how enthusiastic the majority of us get, there is a small fraction of people who disappoint us with the daft obsession over Valentine's Day rather than the mother of all cricket matches. They are to us what muggles were to Draco Malfoy. Like, Shahmeer Lodhi, who had a blue Friday because apparently, he was going to miss out on a hattrick this year. Nope, nothing sporty about it. "Yaaaawr, pichlay do saal say valentine thi, is saal nahi hai. Hattrick miss hogayi", he said...*Tch tch tch*
Then there was Mariam Asghar, who was telling the guys to get chocolates of 14th Feb, just for the heck of it. Madhuri much, Mariam?
From one Madhuri to the other, Mehak Saleem is threatening to beat up boys from her class who lie to their women to get out of this valentines' mumbo jumbo. *WE JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD CUP, MEHAK!* *SHEESSH*

On the other end Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali and Saira Rizvi are busy sending, literally EVERYONE in their friend list a "Who will be your valentine?" request on Facebook.
*Real smooth guys..reaaaaal smooth* *shakes my head*

Khair, let's ignore the muggleness and start off with the headlines!
This week on ISpy:

1. Sakina Abbas 'sleepwalks' out of Economics. #BossWitch
2. Saira Rizvi, the embodiment of the reasons why you shouldn't bring the gossip notebook to school.

*phone rings: 1 notification*
*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*Ignores harder*

She's smart, she's funny, she's got great reasons to kill all of mankind and now, she sleepwalks too. Boss Sakina Abbas, got bored in Economics class...again. But this time, the boredom was a struggle to ignore and she felt she had to get out. Desperate times call for desperate measures, as she stood up all of a sudden, closed her eyes, and walked towards the door, mumbling gibberish along the way. In order to not give herself away, she walked straight into the door a couple of times, before her classmate opened the door and let her out. SUCH A GENIUS. SUCH AUTHENTICITY. No wonder she calls herself the boss. She does what she wants, and with some style. She's a role model for all who are struck with boredom in class...well, that makes all of us, to be honest.

*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*IGNORES EVEN HARDER!*

What would you do as a teacher if your student is busy scribbling in her notebook while you give out a lecture? Confiscate the notebook, and we're done, right? Well, not in Sir Raja's class. He's gonna read out that little cluster of pages you call your life, in front of the whole class. Ask Saira Rizvi, the latest victim of such tyranny. Apparently, her notebook also got taken by Sir Raja, who read out songs, gossip..and stuff.. Bottomline, never bring your journal or notebook to school. *hides the diary* *MY PRECIOUS!*

*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*

*loads the Glock*

BILAL, IF WE GET ANOTHER REQUEST FROM YOU, I'M GOING TO CALL MEERA JEE AND GIVE HER YOUR ADDRESS! *Jeeee bilkulll, of course! (read in Meera jee's accent) AND I WON'T CARE IF YOUR COUSIN DID IT...TWICE..TO EVERYONE! 

Wow are like all the rest of us missing out on something HUGE? O.o

That's it folks this edition of ISpy is all wrapped up. Check in next Saturday, YES SATURDAY! ISpy on Saturdays from now on, k? k.

This is Ispy, and you're being watched!

CIMA BUSINESS QUIZ 2015

Written by: Inshirah Tahir

Edited by: Romesa Hassan

While the  lazy morning of this Sunday saw most of us fast asleep in our cozy little beds or procrastinating in front of the television; it also saw some devoted individuals from among us who were wide awake and completely busy pondering over their books and notes (well, they did have to complete the entire accounting syllabus *sigh*) with the primary ambition, to once again use the best of their abilities and make each and every one of us who is connected to the red bricks proud of their intellect and their victory.
 Thus these determined individuals of The City School PAF Chapter once again headed out to prove, as they have done many times before, that when it comes to business they are ready to take on and conquer any challenge that comes their way!  Fortunately it turns out they had the perfect platform to portray their skills and knowledge in a brilliantly productive manner.
The students participating comprised of eleven teams: Yamna Naeem, Sufyan Ehsan, Mahzaib Usman, Saud Siddiqui, Yumna Sohail, Moneeb Moin, Sohaib Yousaf, Ali, Abdul Rafay, Sakina Abbas, Sumayya Hanif, Sami Saeed, Anosha Aftab, Usna Tariq, Nawal, Almas Zafar, Iman Sohail, Shahayar Zaidi, Madiha Amjad, Shahzad Ibrahim, Dua Hamid, Muhammed Usman, Yasal Shariq Siddiqui, Hamzauddin Siddiqui, Kiran Shahid, Yousha bin Khalid and Isha Mustafa.
 Determined as always the AS participants set out to this year’s CIMA Business Quiz at the Dawood Public School only to be met by an unfortunate misunderstanding as Yousha bin Khalid had somehow been included in more than one team thus at 8 am the participants were faced with the predicament of finding a suitable replacement for Yousha and also with the almost impossible challenge of convincing another suitable teenager to leave the comfort of his or her bed and be prepared to bring his/her best skills to the table! Luckily after about a hundred calls, the participants were rescued by their knight in the shining armor  (or in the shining school uniform) in the form of *TADAAAAA* Shahayar Ziadi! 
The AS students firstly went forward to the first round of the Quiz that comprised of a test which  incorporated various multiple choice questions. Once these tests were marked only the top ten scoring teams from this round were to qualify to the second round. One of our AS teams comprising of students from A1C3 soared through this round and managed to make it straight through to the final!
Then as 1:00 pm drew closer  the AS participants, after hours of a demanding competition, set to proceed home, our tenacious A2 students were reporting to the Dawood Public School at 12: 15 pm. Eventhough the A2s did not have any trouble with the registrations, they too were faced with pressing challenges to put their best abilities and business minds to test. The A2, also managed to score auspiciously in the first round and thus the final round of the competition saw our triumphant team comprising of Sakina Abbas, Summaya Hanif and Sami Saeed competing against some of the most cut-throat schools of the city, once again ready to make us proud by securing the fifth position. Our AS did not let us down either, one team secured the second postion and the other fifth!! *woohoo*

But wait, let us not lose sight of the fact that what these young business minds earned at the Business quiz was a day not just full of challenges to test their business knowledge but some events that had been arranged for them to make certain that no one leaves the competition without some memories to cherish! These included a very informative and engaging lecture by Sir Ahmed Saya on stress management; during which he asked a rhetorical question as to how many of the people in the audience did not face stress problems. Among the only three people who did not feel stress in their daily routine; while the rest of us struggle under the pressure, were all Pafians!! (yes, we must hunt them down and make them share their secret with us) Lastly, there was the arrival of Mr. Faraz Farooqi, whose popularity was evident by the fact that he could not have left until he took selfies with all his fans (evidence on Instagram…). As you will notice by the smiles on our fellows faces in all pictures, the day was an ultimate success for them as they also got the much awaited chance to meet some old friends and what is better than these sudden reunions!

Our awesome team making us proud! :')

ISpy: Edition Four

Written by Shehroze Shaikh


HELLO HELLO! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!
HELLO HELLO! I'M BACK AGAIN!
DID YOU MISS ME WHILE I WAS GONE? DID YOU HANG MY PICTURES ON YOUR WALL?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bhaiyon aur unki behnon, in times like these where your activities in school are restricted and you live in a constant state of anxiety, one thing is constantly up and happening. YOU'RE BEING WATCHED! (oh how I've missed saying that)

So we start off this post-extended vacation edition with the headlines, which are:

1. Evil psychologist in the house! *hides in terror*
   Public service message by the Student Blogging Society regarding psychology student, Aisha Zameer.
2. Nazi beware! Mehak Saleem finally gets her grammar and spellings right..or does she?
3. Discrimination or just bad luck? Sakina Abbas's account on her phone getting confiscated.
4. Letterman jackets with an appetite: Le midgets.

Psychology, I speak from experience, is an interesting but disturbing subject. It's only a matter of time before it starts to take a toll on you, and if you have your mental strength, you'll be okay, but if you don't you'll end up...well, like me. HOWEVER, I returned to the sane category today after AS Psychology student Aisha Zameer, came up with a idea that was...shocking! She designed an experiment in which participants, I thought (never been so wrong), are made to believe that they are giving electric shocks to people. The conversation that followed was this:

Aisha: So how do we evaluate the ethics in this experiment?

Me: Well, you can say that the participants were misled, given false information.

Aisha: Misled how?

Me: You're making them believe kay tum unse electric shocks dilwa rahi ho logon ko.

Aisha: Magar main to sach mein electric shocks dilwa rahi hun.

...the next few minutes were very difficult.

I'mma shock the world but they all gon' remember me.

Apparently, Miss Afsheen needs to revise the topic of ethics. To be fair, we would all love to see people getting electrocuted *silence*...okay maybe I would, but the point is that it was a creative solution. If you're going to put 'electrocuted a sane person' on somebody's conscience, you better allow them to really do it. I'm going to finish writing this report now, before I get arrested for 'accessory to violence'.

Teased, ridiculed, angered, broken, Mehak Saleem, for the past many months, has been a target of a special group of activists. One even went on to say she was the greatest victim. The group of people are the grammar Nazi's, and hence we all know what Mehak was doing wrong, spellings, grammar, punctuation, everything. Every word she wrote gave the Nazi's a chance to torment her even further. Example:

Not only that, they teased her for sense of humor too.

BUT, then Mehak finally decided that she won't be the easy victim, and that she would end this tyranny once and for all. She brushed up on her grammer, her spellings, her punctuation. She would not only escape the clutches of the Nazis, but she's going to leave them in awe. And that's exactly what she did. BEHOLD!

Good going, Mehak. We are proud of you...or are we? Just as it seemed that the Nazi would never get to pick on her again, she proved us wrong, as on the same post...

It was good while it lasted.

Nevertheless, Mehak Saleem is a hero. She's an example for everyone under Nazi attack, that no matter how many times they correct you, you keep going! #DeathToTheNazi #MehakIsAHero

We have all heard how authority is misused in this country, and how people take necessary steps to ensure it keeps working that way. People with authority have their faults overlooked, while the mango people suffer a greater punishment. Same was the case when Society President, Sakina Abbas had her phone confiscated. Now we all know how the government had issued a ban on using cellphones in schools, but our DEPUTY Head Girl, Yumna'aaaawwwwwwnnn Sohail was showed no regard for that and did what she does. Take selfies in the main ground.

Step aside, Qaim Ali Shah, I do what I waaawwwwwww'nt.

Now we can totally ignore how no teacher bothered to confiscate her phone for doing something so...unnecessary, but then we see how Sakina got her phone confiscated. Apparently, after looking for several places where she could make a call to her father without being spotted, Sakina chose to hide in the girl's bathroom. In vain, because as soon as she dialled, Miss Shazia barges right in and shouts, "Bathroom kon use kar raha haaiii?" and snatched her phone.
Bad luck or Discrimination? I guess we'll never know. Sakina, however is not happy about it, and we all know how bad it gets when little people are angry. *hides under the bed*

Speaking of...

The one thing that made the extended vacations a menace for the A2s was the delay in getting the letterman jackets. Everyone was eager to have wear the jacket and, guess what, take selfies. BUT, turns out, these jackets are very hungry by nature. Their favorite meal, short people. Yes, while tall and even mid-height people were comfortable in their jackets, the short people were struggling for their lives, trying to avoid being swallowed whole by the jackets.

Rimsha looks good on the jacket, tbh.

As you may see, the jackets likes to eat the arms first. Poor Rimsha, she should enjoy the time she has before she is devoured as a whole. She was a good person. *wipes tears*

Dear Pafians, that's it for this edition of ISpy. Check in next Friday for more exposing news. And also check in every Wednesday for our new segment, Humans of PAF Chapter. You know what, check in every day 'cause we have a cool blog. This is ISpy, and you're being watched!
Now I'll go clean my room, before my mom comes in with a broom! 
That Rhymed!!

*Han Han Ammi, aa raha hun, publish to karne dain*