Masquerade 2015 ...or was it?

Written By: Ali Ul-Haque, Arbaz (iforgothislastname) and Faryab Haye 

From the school which can’t even keep PAFMUN alive, they bring to you The Most Inconsistent Masquerade Ever.. featuring everything but masks, couple’s dancing, food, proper lighting and a dress code….. actually you know what, I don’t think it was a masquerade but (damn) I’ll tell you what it was……..
                             it was the most fun you’ll have until PAFMUN (gets cancelled again).

Now I’ll be honest here, when I saw the setup at school I was immediately excited to be a part of yet another Valima. Needless to say I was incredibly disappointed… I mean, it's PAF chapter, where’s the mandatory Biryani? (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)     (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)    Oh well, at the very least we were able to keep one tradition alive; The tradition of bad entertainment in the event..

The event kicked off with Saad Khalid, singing “Take me to Church”, on Fridaythe 13th, in a school built beside a mosque, like.. basically all we’re missing is a Bar Mitzvah, and it’d be the most culturally diverse performance ever. (MAZEL TOV SAAD, MAZEL TOV) . Then we had our very own Oompa Loompa.. Danial Baghpatti.. (Yes, that is his actual name) showing us all that the biggest of things could come in the smallest of packages, by small I mean, really small. Thank you for the “short” appearance Peter Dinklage.

Then some various, certain people tried to bring booty back, really good job guys, I thoroughly enjoyed that..(No homo). 

Speaking of minorities we had a stand-up roast session by the only two people in school who should be in jail. We’re talking about a ‘comedy’ session so offensive it had to be PAFMUNed (#ifywim) but they still managed to get the ‘message’ across.

(Right, Nofal. Freedom of speech.. geddit geddit).


This was followed by a skit which was the biggest insult to the Punjabi’s since Gullu Butt.. proving to us all that PAF chapter would never be known for it’s acting skills. After that we had a DANCE OFF (thank you Chris Pratt) between the A2’s and the AS. A performance thoroughly enjoyed by everyone with a family orientated tribute to BB ky vines. This incredibly competitive, overly dramatic and highly biased dance off was won by the A2’s but then again it is really really really hard to lose a competition which you organize, grade and take part in.

Then came three men, three extremely talented men who collectively ruined some of the best songs of our generation; they took the science out of The Scientist; they took The Rock (sorry Mr. Dwayne) out of We Will Rock You and they managed to swing  (╯◕_◕)╯ my (╯◕_◕)╯ life (╯◕_◕)╯ away….. literally.

The night was still ripe when came two people who would rekindle the event. Yes! Saad Habib and Zarmina Faizan, who reminded us that you can go a long way with some good traditional desi songs.

After them came our very own Shamoom bhai who indulged us with his poetry (Shahiry). Anyone who got the shahiry (and the most of ones who didn’t), all proclaimed Wah Wah! Wah Wah!

Then the lights turned off and everyone gathered to watch a VERY ORIGINAL (not like last year’s movie was the exact same or anything) film created by our very own Chapter Studios.

After all of the excellent performances and gimmicks came the highlight of the event.
The part everyone expcets in a Masqerade! (Uhm, kind of?)

(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞        (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞  THE RAVE. DUDUDUDUDUDU.

People threw away their masks and scooted to the dance floor as the DJ setup on stage. There were funky lights, loud music, people jumping up and down, and kicking each other in the faces as they tried to exhibit their perfectionist dancing skills.

Oye hoye, kia baat hei Mister!

Everyone danced until they heard the food was served. After all, they were all bound to be hungry after showing off their killer (… ok maybe not so much) moves.
Food > Dancing! Am I right? No?                          Ok..

Moving on.. The entree consisted of mainly Chinese… okay… only Chinese. But there was dessert which included cakes, Cocomo and marshmallows and CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS (⊙_◎)

Some people finished the marshmallows even before anyone knew they even existed in the first place (*cough* Uzair and Taimoor looking at you *cough*). After eating up, everyone went right back to the dance floor for a final dance off. The rave ended and everyone was sent to or, rather, thrown out of the gate.

I guess we can safely say, this year’s welcome was by all means, EPIC. It had breathtaking performances which included dances, singing, poetry, awesome videos (thanks Mohsin!) and even a play. Well, duh, it had some cons (thoray aur pankhay laga detai yar, pesay mujh se lelayte) but nothing’s perfect.

The student council did an exceptional job at organizing the party. (And yes, Vinay, you too)
Only in chapter can we pull off a Masqerade without wearing masks!

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COLLEGE NIGHT! *throws confetti*

Written By: Huda Nadeem

Hey guys!

So I have been tasked with the job of telling you all about College Night and well, here goes nothing.

Technically, college night (more like day, but oh well) is an education expo of sorts. It’s actually a really useful thing because we’re gonna find a pretty big amount of University Representatives in one place, so if any of you are freaking the hell  out about what to do when applying for next year, this should be a pretty good place to start.

Now, I can’t tell you the names of all the universities, because hello, there’s got be some mystery, but I can tell you that there are definitely university representatives coming for students of all subjects! Including the mostly left out Art students.. (rejoice!)

Alright now that’s not all we’re getting though, I mean a bunch of universities setting up stalls, pfft, what’s so special about that, right? There’s also going to be a bunch of people coming in to talk to us about what to expect! (and what not to expect) (like, I’d say it’s fair game not to expect fishes as your colleagues in uni, or a river as your math teacher)

(hopefully)

These include;

1. DR. FRAMJI MINWALLA (IBA Department Head man)

This man is atm the Chair of the Department of Social Sciences & Liberal Arts at IBA. Phew, that’s a mouthful!  Not only that though, he’s also taught at Yale University, Dartmouth College, NYU and SZABIST to name a few.

2. HASSAN NASIR (USEFP Dude)

He’s gonna be talking about how to write your personal statements, which I hear is a really important part of the application process of getting into universities.

What’s USEFP though?

It stands for United States Education Foundation in Pakistan. It’s technically an exchange program that started like over 50 years ago now, and is still going strong! I think.

3. SANAM KARAMALLY (Consultant at various companies, like daaaamn son)

Ms. Karamally has been a consultant for 45 different companies, including Nestle, MediaCom and CNBC to name a few. She is also Head of Travels for TBL Holidays and also an associate of the Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM) in UK.

4. SIDRA IQBAL (TV journalist and activist lady)

She currently hosts ‘Insight with Sidra’ on PTV News, the state’s official channel and is the first Pakistani to be presented the GR* Women Award for Journalism.
(Totes jealous I mean, it’s such a gr8 award. Heheheh, sorry ._.)

5. TIM SPRACKLEN (Fella With The Hella Cool Hair)

Dr. Spracklen is a professor of Physics at Habib University and while his list of achievements is long and illustrious, I am mesmerized by this man’s hair.

6. SAJID HASSAN (An actor, man!)

Yes, there is an actor coming. And yes, it is SAJID HASAN OMG PLS TELL ME THERE ARE OTHER FANS FROM HIS DHOOP KINARE ERA BECAUSE THIS MAN IS AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED PART OF OUR ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

He has worked in Hollywood too. He had a role alongside Angelina Jolie in A Mighty Heart. (damn, son)

7. SHIREEN NAQVI (CEO of the School of Leadership)

Her experience as a senior management consultant and facilitator at Navitus includes having been consulted by a number of international and local corporations, NGOs and educational centers across Pakistan.

8. MAHA QASIM (TCS Alumnus!)
   

Maha did her A Levels from the Darakhshan Campus in 2004 and went on to attend Princeton University! (Daaang, Ivy League shizz.)

Maha has recently completed a Masters degree in Environmental Management from Yale (another Ivy League? Shité.) and is currently consulting for energy and environment projects in Pakistan. (You go, Maha! Four for you, Maha!)

9. SAAD WASEEM (LSE alumnus)

Mr. Waseem will probs give us the down low on how to get into LSE and will tell us about how he helps out fellow LSE graduates by recommending them for the best Recruitment and Internship programmes.

PHEW.

THAT’S FINALLY DONE WITH.

I mean, I finished an entire pint of ice cream writing all that. (Ben&Jerry’s 5evaa)

Speaking (reading?) of food items, THERE WILL ALSO BE FOOD! *crowd cheers*

And entertainment? Well, what else do we have Chapter Records for??

Saad and Zarmina, pls-pls-pls give us good music. We really need something other than the school song.

And as it so happens, Chapter Records won’t be the only group performing!

There’s supposed to be a bunch of performances from the other campuses too and hopefully we’ll BLOW THEM OUT OF THE PARK BECAUSE
                                                  💥CHAPTER PRIDE.💥

Let us all form a prayer circle for their success.

Welp, that’s all for now, do you really want more? D:

See ya’ll later! Maybe. Most probably not, but ..you know. ;-)

Headboys and Headgirls- Some things you know... and some things you don't

Written by: Hamna Fatima

Edited by: Asad Raza

*whispers* Aaaaand we’re LIVE!!

The toe-crunching, peanut-buttering Blogging Society of PAF Chapter brings to you some juicy details and some dirty laundry on none other than our esteemed (and NEW!!) headboy, headgirl, and their deputies. You’d have to be a dead sock to not know who they are yet but, dead sock or not, we’re here for you with some facts that’ll have you in a nail-biting ecstasy.

(Side note: Don’t do ecstasy. It’s dangerous.) (May even get you killed too.)

(Also on a side note: I can’t believe they made Fred black-haired in this Scooby Doo movie, this is blasphe— ohmygod, Shaggy did not just compare life to a chocolate souffle, this is g o l d.)

Anyway, for our headboy: Ismail Vohra

Symbol: Fingerprint. (or was it thumbprint?) (whatever it was, it was fancy. #thappalagao)

“mein na hi koi itna fit hoon, na ho meray koi six packs hein, na koi itna lamba hoon, tou app log kabhi bhi meray paas asaktay hein, grab my collar and go ‘Ismail bhai, ye kaam kyun nahi hoa’.”

Headboy of the year, 2015-16, Ismail Vohra, is many things; he plays chess, writes poetry, sings certain songs for certain girls (wild crowd screams in the background) and has a very philosophical approach to life and society. He likes web-designing, social entrepreneurships, and has a passion for community service.

What was your first thought when you won? ‘The first thought I had was kai kaash Vinay larki hota, aur mein usse shaadi karleta, because he’s sucha jiggar and he’s such a brother that kaash wo larki hota, and I would’ve married him.’

Indeed, Ismail.

What do you plan on doing now? ‘Yar saaf baat hei, ghar pe soona hei yaar, thoray choray pan mein ghomna hei, aur kiya yaar that’s what it’s all about…

                                                                                        ….Just kidding, yaar.’

Ismail, in all not-kidding-serious-ity, plans to make every individual in the school feel happy about their school, feel proud of Chapter. He plans on organizing many events, in his words: a Welcome, field trips, entrepreneurships, college nights, water carnivals etc. He’s presently thinking of something along the lines of a cruise— I bet everyone who voted for him is just thinking, Damn. I knew I made the right choice.

Well, you did.

Would you kick a truck for fun? ‘Yaar truck ko laat marnay kai lie, dekho mein tumko ye btaoon yaar mein kamzor sa pyara sa bacha hoon, itnay mein phaaday wadday karta ziada karta nahi hoon, ab zahiri baat hei truck pathan ka hoga, uspe likha hoga “maan ki dua” tou I respect that— tou buri baat hei yaar, maan ki dua likha hota hei, mein maan ki buhat respect karta hoon, so I’m never even ever gonna touch that truck.’

Along with being approachable, always open to suggestions, Ismail also likes to sing songs for this one, certain AS student. Here’s a sample, you can thank me later. ;-)

Aw, Ismail, don’t go betraying Vinay already… :-(

Our headgirl: Syeda Hoorulain

Symbol: Diamonds! (because who doesn’t love diamonds?)

Diamonds are rare. It’s true. Diamonds obsessed with children are rarer still, and diamonds obsessed with children who also think they’re serial killers are practically impossible to find. Yet it’s practically a twist of fate, or maybe just plain old luck that we got one as our Head Girl.

Crazy, funny and obsessed with movies, drill machines, Tom Cruise, hacking Snapchats and sometimes nurseries, Hoor is what you’d call a gem. (Get it?) (tell me someone got that?) Considerate and compassionate, and frequently late to Biology lectures, she’s definitely someone you can count on and trust. Her friends refer to her as “mommy” (and no, that is not weird) because she’s always there for them, doesn’t tolerate anything against them and loves them all almost as much as she loves Jon Snow.

It’s true. She says, “I seriously cried and shed tears when I learned about Jon’s death. It was a very sensitive topic for me, and a very tough time.”

We can tell, Hoor, we can tell.

When the results were announced, the first thing to cross her mind was: “Hayee, ab kitne logon ko biryani khilani paray gi”. Well, Hoorulain, I don’t know about everyone else, but you can definitely count me in on the list :p

Our deputy headgirl: Anoosha Imran

Symbol: The Anchor

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Anoosha Imran? Probably that it’s a hella nice name? Yeah, same. How about the second thing that comes to mind? Probably wondering why YOU don’t have an as awesome name??

[glares at parents from across the living room] ‘I trusted yOU!!’

(Life tip: If you want to not get caught bunking classes, contact her! She’s a professional!)

(Don’t tell any of the General Paper teachers though.)

Loves coffee and cricket, Anoosha is the kind of person who’s so pretty you want to perform a Satanic ritual with pentagrams to look like her you’d want as your best friend, always— she’ll have your back no matter how bad things get, she’s open-minded enough that you could talk to her about anything! Anytime! Even at 2 in the morning! And she’ll do anything to make sure she’s exactly the kind of deputy head students can come up to without hesitation.

Sounds like a winner, huh?

And with a straight-up wonderful name too.

Our deputy headboy: Murtaza Haroon

Symbol: Hats!

Murtaza does not…

                               …have his phone.

Isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve heard all week? Let’s have a moment of silence for him…. and for the absence of his phone…. [someone yells from the back: did the Headmaster take it, Murtaza?]

*moment over* phew.. that was exhausting, how do people do this whole silent thing anyway?

Hard-working, easy-going, and ooh did I mention hard-working?, Murtaza is perhaps the perfect deputy headboy we could’ve ever had. His speech, even though frequently (and by frequently, I mean every 7 seconds) interrupted by the microphone being the usual piece of cabbage, was terrific; and his symbol!!! Hats!!! Who doesn’t love hats?!

Aaaaand who doesn’t love Spiderman???

Okay, I don’t.

But Murtaza does!! Our spies tell us he starts singing the Indian Spiderman tune randomly everywhere. ((You know that Spiderman Spiderman verse, choraya meray dil ka chen.)) And with the literally millions of people screaming for Murtaza during his speech— one question remains unanswered: do you have a superpower, Murtaza? Wait, could it be, could it actually be- are you Spiderman?

(Hopefully without the suit, though— I can’t remember a single time I looked at Spiderman’s clothing and didn’t cringe to death.)

And that’s all people, for now. Don’t forget to sign up for membership in the Blogging Society- the topics are up on the Facebook page and the last date is October 10th!! Hurry, hurrrrrrrryyyy!! Write, Write, WRITE!!!!

Football > Life: Girls' Edition.

Written by Shehroze Shaikh

For everyone who hasn't seen it before, picture some girls playing football. Close your eyes, and picture it. What do you see?
Something like this, maybe?

Sorry to burst your little bubble, my fellow men.

Well, no. This is what it looked like on Tuesday.

Yep, it was intense.

Blue moon was up in Chapter on Tuesday, as the girl's football team, I repeat, THE GIRL's FOOTBALL TEAM took control of the futsal court for an inter...I don't know what you call a match between the A2s and the AS. Inter-class...uh, Inter-year...Inter-racia...NO, damn, whatever, not important.

To wrap it up, here is the view of the first half, as described by a spectator, Zaryab Khan:

"It was an amazing atmosphere. For some spectators, it was the first time they were watching a live girls' futsal game. Never had such a large crowd gathered at PAF Chapter for a game. Team White kicked things off. The match started off well. For the first few minutes, it was hard to decide who was playing well. We eventually saw Team White taking down on Team Blue with their pace and attack. Injila, Romesa and Mehak, the team captain, showed an amazing game. It wasn't long before Lawaiza's goal kick error turned out to be a nightmare for Team Blue, as Mehak finished off the chance with an amazing goal. We saw Team White approaching more towards the the goal with 3 shots on target leaving team blue with no shots in the first half at all."
In the second half, both teams scored once, as the match finished 2-1 in favour of team White. THE END. Kbye.
.
.
.
.
Okay that was uncalled for, and boring, because there was sooooooo much more that happened. Here is my version of the day's game, the SBT style.

It was a one-off contest, A2s vs As, and the prize? Bragging rights. The right to be called the inaugural winners of the PAF Chapter's Girls Futsal Contest. Team Blue (As) was captained by Faiza Amir, while Mehak Saleem led Team White (A2).

Captains! All smiles.

The Blues played with Lawaiza Zahid in goal, Mahnoor Imran and Aisha Zameer gossiping in defense while Maham Zaidi and Faiza Amir played upfront. For the Whites, Mehak Saleem entrusted Maheera Batool with the gloves, and Saira Rizvi and Romesa Hassan to defend, while she partnered Injila Bilal up front. It is quite redundant to mention how the teams lined up, because as soon as Miss Shazia blew the whistle, the women were all over the place. For the first few minutes, there were ALOT of misplaced passes and wayward clearances, some of which even managed to hit the spectating boys in all the wrong places. Now you know why Zaryab thought it was hard to decide who was playing well. Gradually, Team White grew into the game. They constantly put pressure on the opponents, disturbing the Blues' defenders in their gossip on more than one occasion. Credit to them for clearing the danger every time though. It was only a matter of time before a chance was created. Romesa Hassan took advantage of a mishap and found herself in front of goal, but she couldn't control the ball. Her frustration was clearly visible in her angry stomp. Romesa was probably the only player who could actually chip the ball, and I'm still wondering how she had the presence of mind to kick the ball at the opponent and let it run out for a goal kick. HOW ROMESA? HOW?
A while later though, Lawaiza kicked the ball straight to Mehak, who was ruthless this time as she scored the first goal of the contest. It stayed 1-0 into half time.
Half time discussions were a treat to watch and hear. A close ear from Arbaz Mohammad revealed the following conversation:
"Long balls khelo." -Romesa.
"Nai nai, passing karo when we're close." -Mehak
"Mehak, tum center mein raho. Me and Romesa will pass it to you again." -Injila
"Yaar does my hair look okay?" -Saira
...BEHOLD! Saira Rizvi, Chapter's very own Cristiano Ronaldo, more worried about the hair than the match. Well, you can expect that it in a girls' game. Completely normal.

...Blues regroup and discuss their game plan at Half Time,

If there was any hope of a Blues comeback, it was killed off when Aisha Zameer handled the ball and Whites were awarded a penalty. Up stepped Mehak. What a moment! Captain, Coach, Goal Scorer, and now a chance to seal the deal in front of an amazing crowd and cement her place in Chapter history. SHE AIMS, SHE RUNS, SHE SHOOTS AAAANNNNNNDD SHE SSSSSSSSSS....SQUANDERS THE CHANCE. SHE MISSED THE PENALTY. OMG, HOW COSTLY COULD THAT PROVE TO BE?! IS THIS THE START OF A BLUES COMEBACK? No. Moments later, Injila scored to make it 2-0. What an anti-climax. If this was a Bollywood movie, Blues would have won and the angry Whites' supporters in the crowd would have broken Mehak's legs. Years later, she would have returned as a coach to regain her lost pride and would take Chapter's Girls' team to victory. Not to be, though. *sigh*

Yaaaar, Messi ki fan  hun. Wo bhi penalties miss karta hai,

There was some consolation for Blues, as they were awarded a "deserved" penalty, by Miss Shazia. Well, they did deserve it, considering how Whites were runnng circles round them. Captain Faiza Amir stepped up and put it past Maheera to make it 2-1, and that's how it remained till the final whistle. Joy for the White, despair for the Blues. (No racist pun intended)
Apart from the all the in game mistakes, it can safely be said that the match was well received, because let's face it, the boy's inter-house tournament did not attract such a big crowd. Full marks to Mehak, for being adamant in her request to organize the match. After having a great game, minus the penalty, she was all smiles at her achievement. She said:

“It was time that something interesting happened this term. Since we were deprived of playing interschool it became absolutely necessary to arrange an event that could prove to be fun and helpful for the girl's football team. I didn't expect that there actually would be such a big crowd there to watch our match, mainly the guys. I'm extremely proud of how the girls adapted to a game they weren't familiar with. I am now a happy coach, a happy captain. On the request of my team I'm trying to arrange another match with the O'levels as well. Let's see how well things turn out later on!”

Congratulations to both the teams, and a shout out to Miss Shazia, who refereed the whole thing. Ma'am, your patience inspires me.

A football at your feet is the solution to every problem.