Down the Memory Lane of 2014

Written By: Ali Ul Haque and Mohammad Arbaz
Edited by: Sakina Abbas

2014. T'was a beautiful year when everything was different, except for Leonardo di Caprio getting snubbed at the Oscars (lousy Mathey MConaughy*homer simpson voice*).
We started off this year with high hopes and great ambitions, albeit what happened next is history. Most of our Chapter days were spent us burning in the sun, studying, playing, singing, burning in the sun, partying, goofing off, pulling pranks, burning in the sun and did I mention the burning in the sun? I came to this school as a white man and now I am rather brown, but of course that doesn't apply to everyone since many were born that way (as a certain brother would appreciate). This year brought together multifarious colourful individuals together from the water throwing terrorists to the dumb jocks, party-animal-nerds, singers, actors, debaters, photographers and general narcissists.

The year began with the imminent danger of ragging and all our fears became personified as the A2s harassed us. Them pedophiles! Next, before we knew it, there was all this shouting, screaming, running about and drumming because it was Election time!! Cutting to the chase, Salman Bhooka, Rasool Bhai, Injila Aatey ki Bori and Mrs. Salvatore (Yumna) succeeded to their much awaited thrones of the Student Council. Though, I swear to God that I kept my promise and voted for every single contestant, because I promised them my vote when they had approached me with a puppy-dog face.

 

In a year when Germany scored more goals than Chapter played matches, we held 3 sporting events that were, perhaps, more mundane than an evening with Amir Liaqat's show - Inam ghar. First off was the Obstacle Course Race which illustrated just how fit and elegant the physical capacity of Chapter's student body is. Swinging forward, we were met with an Inter-house Futsal Tournament which I rocked and won for the Red House, just so we're clear on that. We also had ourselves a Basketball tournament but not much is known about this except the fact that the Yellow House effortlessly swept everyone aside and won. Oh yeah, and there was a bunch of other stuff too, but no one cares.

"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!" -He still did it better than Miley.

Now, moving on to the Chapter Events, the first thing that hit us was the Welcome Party, A.K.A "Desi Tarka" and it hit us really hard. I almost forgot where I was and couldn't even recognize the girls. Everyone seemed quite .. fresh, and this obviously meant that they had to be honoured in every.possible.way. Geez, don't suspect for a second Dr. Hannibal Lecter! I only meant to say that they indeed were honoured in.every.possible.way. Specially Mehak. We all know that our Facebook Newsfeeds were overflowing, or much rather, OOZING with her photos with every single person belonging to Chapter's A Level Section. Well, let us not be jealous. Preach. At least we got our FB Covers and Dp's too, on the bright side?

Maarij: I write it rough. This is my design.
Rohan: I can probably backstab and still win this match alone with my gamingzz.
Shaheer: Not KGS again.. no..
Maarij Jr.: I look just like my brother. Should I be happy about it?  

Fast forward, Chapter started to mean business and business was good, providing innovative ideas straight from the minds of future entrepreneurs, hence the tag of 'Entreship'. This was one heck of a prestigious event about which the PAFIANEUR society will endlessly brag. Guess they found a way to speak and top their biryani. Speaking of speaking, the pride of our school, the PSS went out and actually did things. They were the third best delegation at ZABMUN, the best team at The Nationals Parliamentary debate, semifinalists at the Lobo Debating championship and of course, they also won the PSDC which they themselves organized, but that's none of my business..

This year, we Turned Down for What as Hoozier took us to church when Ariana Grande told us to Love her harder, but Maroon 5 found the Map and Taylor Swift took us home and told us to Shake It Off. Shake off what, though? Our feral dance moves that came out loose in the Welcome Party as Chapter's Music Society put up quite a show for us.

From being Chapter's street guitarist to becoming the Music
Society's Head, Fahad has had it rough.

The Music Society is one awesome Society that we have here. From making masterful covers of songs to putting up a fantastic performance at Obhartay Sitaray and to providing a background music of Pink Panther when someone was getting lectured by their Economics teacher for bunking their Economics' class. Arsheela and Sakina, you know it only made the situation funnier than it already was. *wink*

 

Though, let us not forget about our friends at the Outreach Society who went out of their way and did plenty of charity work, notably their donations for the Blind Kids' Association and their trips to Darul Sukoon to help the less fortunate.

Though, this is not all that happened with us this year, is it? We were all living our happy lives when a FB Page name 'Pakoras of PAF Chapter' sprung up, targeting us innocents. They put up our pictures with funny (for you) yet ridiculing (for us) captions. On the bright side, though, at least some of us got recognized. Ah! That warmth of the spotlight. *harmonious harps playing in the distance*
Other than this, Chapter's Veena and Meera became the centre of attention AND attraction (for the guys) when their amusing acts got exposed on Chapter's Blog. Speaking of which, the SBT also introduced their new segment this year. Yes, the ISpy. As much as you all enjoyed reading it, you all practically ran for your life when you saw Sakina looking at you with a very placid and sweet expression plastered on her face. Know that you can run, you can hide but you can't escape our eyes, because we've got the eye of the tiger and the eye of Sauron.
And last, but not the least, PAFMUN's marketing just transcended all obstructions this year. Just when we thought the marketing was being trite, some DPs caught our eyes on FB. Way to go, Marketing Department! *throws fists in the air* *literally just throws them away*

Marketing done right.

And That's All Folks! (Bugs Bunny voice)
Aforementioned are certain highlights of 2014. We experienced some grief and horror just quite recently, but most importantly, we accomplished far more. A new year is not just meant to aimlessly celebrate; it's the dawn of a new era. It is a new beginning; we can start afresh and atone our mistakes of the previous year. Though, most importantly, it's the perfect opportunity to recall and laugh at the history we made, rather than sulk at the kind of history we had hoped to make and simply look forward to making the history of our lifetime, in the coming year.
So, rejoice, stay positive and keep reading Chapter's Blog.

Until we meet again, happy-almost-new-year.

Sincerely,
The Student Blogging Team.

ENTRESHIP '14: They Meant Business

Written by: Sakina Abbas

PAF Chapter’s very own PAFIANEUR Corporate Society recently took a step forward by holding a business event namely ‘Entreship 2014’. Aside from being renowned for selling the best Biryani on Campus, PAFIANEUR Society is now also commendable for organizing the Entreship ‘14.

It was a two-day event that was held on the 21st and the 22nd of November 2014, within the very confinements of our sanctuary, The City School PAF Chapter. Now, if you think you’re going to be shoved with the factual and the boring details of this event, then you’re mistaken and I’m rather disappointed that you could even expect a somber write-up from us. After all, we are the SBT and we aim to please. *wink*

Albeit, if there is anything serious that you need to know, then it’s just this that Entreship ‘14 was a two-day Business event in which many delegations participated, there were different judges for every event and the cash prize was that of 15,000 PKR.
These are just the boring details and are quite insignificant in comparison to what I have in store for you. So listen up, people, and listen close. *flickers a flashlight and places it under the face, illuminating it in the creepiest of ways*

As mentioned earlier, Entreship ‘14 took place on the 21st and 22nd of November. Now, for this highly prestigious event, I was offered a highly prestigious post by the highly prestigious human, Mr. Huzaifa Petiwala - President of Entreship ‘14. Yes, lads. He asked me to be in charge of the Publications for this event. Did you notice that I did not write ‘Department’ after ‘Publications’? Of course, you must have. It is written that way because there WAS no Publications Department, which is why I was not exactly the Director Publications and which is why I had to work with only two of my sidekicks, Shehroze Shaikh and Shahzeb Gilani. Upon recent further inquiries, I got this:

This. Is. Outrageous.

Geez, talk about embarrassment! And what’s worse is that on the first day of Entreship, I just got handed a card that had the dreadful word ‘VOLUNTEER’ printed across its surface. No mention of Publications, let alone something signifying my ‘highly prestigious post’. Although, the Director Sponsorships - Ahad Hasan gave us an idea which my sidekicks and I readily copied:

Well, something's better than something worse..

Having sorted this out, all of us scurried off in different directions so as to go about our duties. The event was relatively short on the first day and everything was proceeded without any hinderances and/or delays. And this was all because of us - the volunteers. Though, speaking of volunteers, something, or much rather, something that someone did just hit my mind. Ladies and gentlemen, this is none other than Talha Ahmed. Oh, come on now, don’t look so disappointed. Chapter's Veena and Meera are not the only entertainers around here, so cut them some slacks.

As I was just saying, Talha had the audacity to put up an act of entertainment before us when, while strolling, he casually kicked off an empty disposable water bottle without once noticing that one of the judges was walking right behind him. Uh-oh. *covers face* Talk about embarrassment! Though, it did not turn out to be as embarrassing for him because the Judge was nice enough to say, “Koi baat nahi, beta. Esi umar mein esi ghaltiyan hoti rehti hein aur hum inhe sey tou seekhtey hein. Koi baat nahi.”

Now, unlike the first day, the second day of Entreship kicked off with enthusiasm and zeal. The events serving to be the integral parts of the Competition proved to be quite fun and enjoyable. Honestly. It was fun watching the delegates giving presentations on their products. Quite frankly speaking, I liked their ideas. There was a crack-fixing spray, which, if sprayed in cracks, filled it with something so the cracks would be ‘fixed’. Is it just me or does this seem QUITE handy and useful, eh? *wink*
Other than this, there was a helmet, which, if worn while riding a bike, would give the rider directions to his desired locations. This may sound interesting, but if it is EVER regulated, I’m sure we will all be hearing “MAYDAY! MAYDAY!” from the bikers. Call me sexist or whatever, but when guys can’t seem to tolerate the directions given by Siri, their wives, sisters or even mothers, how exactly feel would they feel when their heads are shrouded by a female voice? See? Not a good implication at all. This product will be your stairway to the hospital, or a mortuary, if you’re lucky enough.
Likewise, there were some other interesting products too, most of which I don’t seem to recall. However, just like the two mentioned above, the others also had interesting implications and it all seemed quite amusing.

Now, the most interesting part of Entreship ‘14 was ... FREE FOOD. Yes, you read it correctly. All volunteers and delegates were given FREE FOOD by the organizers. Thank-you, Huzaifa and Ahmed. The food was scrumptious. Almost everyone ate to their fill, however, due to a crisis, my sidekicks did not get to devour the free food. Just how amusing is that? But you know who’s more amusing? This guy, who ate the contents from two or three boxes:

The food disposal machine

In addition to the United King’s boxes, the organizers also got packets of Biryani for us. JUST HOW COOL, I MEAN, HOT IS THAT?!

Another interesting thing that happened on the second day was that my beloved Peter (Chapter’s cute kitty) took a poop right in front of the Computer Lab. *giggles* But you know what was MORE interesting? Our beloved President Huzaifa stepped over it. Need I elucidate this previous sentence with a sprinkle of sarcasm on the top? I think that sentence, alone, will suffice.

Albeit, in the midst of the plethora of amusements, embarrassments, exuberance, excitement and enthusiasm, Entreship ‘14 was indeed a successful event. Considering the fact that almost everything was decided and prepared at the eleventh hour and that aside from the Biryani sales, it was the FIRST EVER EVENT OF ITS KIND to be held in Chapter, it turned out to be a massive success. So, heartiest congratulations to our President-Huzaifa-whose-shoe-got-smeared-with-cat-poop, our faarig-Vice-President-Mahzaib-who-would-scream-at-her-volunteers-then-quickly-apologise, and the Directors, namely Sadaf Tabani, Ali Carbohydrate, Nimrah Javed, Ahmed Mujtaba, Ahad Hasan, Ayesha Wahid, Khurrum Kamran, Usama Khawar and last but not the least, myself. Well, I was almost a Director..

*sniff sniff*

 
Then, congratulations to all the Assistant Directors, Deputies and the Volunteers. Lastly, a massive shout-out to my sidekicks, Shehroze-makkai-wala and Shahzeb-I-forgot-my-Mommy’s-name. Publications would not have been fun without them, period.

Highlights of ENTRESHIP '14:

"You will never be as cool as us."



The ENTRESHIP family

Opening Ceremony.. I think.

KK's here.

KK's there.



KK's EVERYWHERE!



These people at work: a rare sight captured.



She's faarig and she knows it.

 

No sarcastic caption here. Why would I make fun of myself?

Now, please take a moment to recognize Mr. Huzaifa Petiwala, who has been complaining that no one was aware of him being the President of ENTRESHIP '14. We may criticize him and his indulgences with Peter's poop as much as we want to, but irrespective of all the aforesaid, Huzaifa is the unsung hero of ENTRESHIP '14. He is the man who made it all possible. He is the reason Entreship was a success. And most importantly, he is the man I owe my thanks to, for.. FREE FOOD.

"Left Job at Entreship" - still a more sentimental story than TFIOS.

May the legacy of ENTRESHIP live on!

ISpy: Edition Three.

Written By: Shehroze Shaikh

Jummaaaaaaa!!
MERE PAFIANSSSS! AAJ JUMMAAA HAI! AAJ KA WAADA THAA! DEKHO MAIN AA GAYAAA!! -Your Dearest, ISpy.

Fellow Pafians, and all others who log in every Friday night for this weekly rag (especially my favourite fans, Saad Nazir and Mehak Saleem), first of all, my apologies for not publishing an issue last Friday. No need to be sad though, 'cause this edition will make it up. Because, IT'S BIGGER, IT'S BETTER AND IT'S NOT HERE TODAY FOR A BETTER TOMORROW, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT PAFMUN! This is ISpy, and YOU'RE BEING WATCHED.

In this edition, we round up the past two weeks of life at The City School, PAF Chapter. Sit back relax...lol jk, stay on the edge of your seats and throw stuff around like Sir Aijaz Hussain, 'cause here are the headlines:

1. Badluck Gillani: Shahzeb sneaks into the girls' bathroom, only to find it empty. #Sedlyf
2. Sabeeh Mohiuddin spills it...the coffee, I mean.
3. Write This, Write that, featuring Ameen Ahmed and many more. An insight into the attention seeking campaign at PAF Chapter.

So, the big news for the week is:

Yes, I did that. -Shahzeb Gillani

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Shahzeb I-don't-remember-my-mom's-name Gillani, went into unchartered territory and returned thinking he was gonna get away with it, but na-uhn, he was being watched! Shahzeb was seen going coming out of the girl's bathroom the other week, as witnessed by a group of girls, including his own sister. He looked rather disappointed, and on further eavesdropping, it came to our knowledge that the bathroom was empty. *awwwwww* Poor old Shahzeb, didn't find the one thing he was looking for...No, he was not looking for the Chamber of Secrets and before you dirty little perverts go any further, STOP!

"I was looking for my bag", he told me.

Apparently, the group of girls standing there had hid poor Gillani's bag in the land of the XX chromosome, and bet a Rs.1000 that he won't go in to get it. Gillani, being the naive person he is, made the obviously stupid choice in the Money Vs Respect, and went in. Now the whole school is gonna know, Shahzeb.

Moral: Never put your respect on the line, especially when YOU'RE BEING WATCHED!

The PAF Chapter A'Levels visited Habib University last week, as part of their Recruitment Drive. The students were given a tour of the beautiful, state of the art campus with all it's facilities. The visit was a great experience. The perfect meeting between to sectors of the education system, complete harmony...UNTIL MR.BANG BANG SABEEH MOHIUDDIN got in on the act (without his Hammer, ofcourse) and reduced all of the Chapter and HU crowd into tears of laughter when he spilled the hot cup of coffee on himself. Poor old Sabeeh, went a bit too far in trying to make a lasting impression. Well, the HU crowd will surely remember the BuryMeRightHereRightNow face he made, and so will one of my bosses, who told me this tale.

Before the launch of ISpy, our fellow Pafians had to go through hell to be the centre of attention. After the introduction of this segment, some people have been doing stuff on purpose just for a glimmer of spotlight. Oh, makes me feel so proud of my rag *tears* Prominent figures include Ameen Ahmed and Ahad bin Wahid, the top attention-seekers around. Ameen and Ahad are regularly seen doing questionable and amusing stuff in confines of the Redbricks, but on sight of a member of the Blogging Team, it escalates to a different level. If that doesn't work, they MAKE you notice! On the first day of Entreship, when I walked by, I was made witness to another one of their duet performances (atleast it wasn't Badtameez Dil again).

*sigh* Some people would do anything to be in the news. Behold, Ameen and Ahad, the Meera and Veena Malik of PAF Chapter.

So that's it for this edition. Make sure you're logged in next friday, 'cause we'll be back. This is ISpy, and YOU'RE BEING WATCHED!

Did you really think that was about to end, fellas? Ho-Ho-Ho No. The Eye of Sauron is here with another cheeky news, about our very own Shehroze Shaikh. (P.S. Sakina here).

Behold!

I have spies that spy on my spies.

As you can see in the picture above, Shehroze is sleeping on his way to school. Somebody transcended his limits by pulling off an all-nighter. Now, what could he presumably be doing? Studying? Haha, no. Chatting? Umm, no. Movies? Mmmh, nah. Ecstasy pills? HELL YEAH! Well, that's my assertion and my previous experiences have taught me to anticipate the worst of all scenarios. Or perhaps.. the best of all the scenarios. *giggles* Call me crazy or whatever, ecstasy pills seem to be fitting just perfectly in the puzzle here. No wonder the boy's pictures always give away some.. ecstasy.

Moreover, when I confessed to him of the aforesaid, this happened:

Haha, that's what she said.

My oh my, how the tables have turned. the exposer becomes exposed. Question to ask though is, 'WE GOT CARRIED AWAY'? So he wasn't alone, prior to the morning when my Na Maaloom Fard took this selfie? Hmmm. Oh No, no. I'm implying how he refers to his drugs as another person, not anyone's presence. Jesus. Cut the poor guy some slack. Get outta here, everyone. Jeez!