ISpy: Edition Four

Written by Shehroze Shaikh


HELLO HELLO! IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!
HELLO HELLO! I'M BACK AGAIN!
DID YOU MISS ME WHILE I WAS GONE? DID YOU HANG MY PICTURES ON YOUR WALL?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bhaiyon aur unki behnon, in times like these where your activities in school are restricted and you live in a constant state of anxiety, one thing is constantly up and happening. YOU'RE BEING WATCHED! (oh how I've missed saying that)

So we start off this post-extended vacation edition with the headlines, which are:

1. Evil psychologist in the house! *hides in terror*
   Public service message by the Student Blogging Society regarding psychology student, Aisha Zameer.
2. Nazi beware! Mehak Saleem finally gets her grammar and spellings right..or does she?
3. Discrimination or just bad luck? Sakina Abbas's account on her phone getting confiscated.
4. Letterman jackets with an appetite: Le midgets.

Psychology, I speak from experience, is an interesting but disturbing subject. It's only a matter of time before it starts to take a toll on you, and if you have your mental strength, you'll be okay, but if you don't you'll end up...well, like me. HOWEVER, I returned to the sane category today after AS Psychology student Aisha Zameer, came up with a idea that was...shocking! She designed an experiment in which participants, I thought (never been so wrong), are made to believe that they are giving electric shocks to people. The conversation that followed was this:

Aisha: So how do we evaluate the ethics in this experiment?

Me: Well, you can say that the participants were misled, given false information.

Aisha: Misled how?

Me: You're making them believe kay tum unse electric shocks dilwa rahi ho logon ko.

Aisha: Magar main to sach mein electric shocks dilwa rahi hun.

...the next few minutes were very difficult.

I'mma shock the world but they all gon' remember me.

Apparently, Miss Afsheen needs to revise the topic of ethics. To be fair, we would all love to see people getting electrocuted *silence*...okay maybe I would, but the point is that it was a creative solution. If you're going to put 'electrocuted a sane person' on somebody's conscience, you better allow them to really do it. I'm going to finish writing this report now, before I get arrested for 'accessory to violence'.

Teased, ridiculed, angered, broken, Mehak Saleem, for the past many months, has been a target of a special group of activists. One even went on to say she was the greatest victim. The group of people are the grammar Nazi's, and hence we all know what Mehak was doing wrong, spellings, grammar, punctuation, everything. Every word she wrote gave the Nazi's a chance to torment her even further. Example:

Not only that, they teased her for sense of humor too.

BUT, then Mehak finally decided that she won't be the easy victim, and that she would end this tyranny once and for all. She brushed up on her grammer, her spellings, her punctuation. She would not only escape the clutches of the Nazis, but she's going to leave them in awe. And that's exactly what she did. BEHOLD!

Good going, Mehak. We are proud of you...or are we? Just as it seemed that the Nazi would never get to pick on her again, she proved us wrong, as on the same post...

It was good while it lasted.

Nevertheless, Mehak Saleem is a hero. She's an example for everyone under Nazi attack, that no matter how many times they correct you, you keep going! #DeathToTheNazi #MehakIsAHero

We have all heard how authority is misused in this country, and how people take necessary steps to ensure it keeps working that way. People with authority have their faults overlooked, while the mango people suffer a greater punishment. Same was the case when Society President, Sakina Abbas had her phone confiscated. Now we all know how the government had issued a ban on using cellphones in schools, but our DEPUTY Head Girl, Yumna'aaaawwwwwwnnn Sohail was showed no regard for that and did what she does. Take selfies in the main ground.

Step aside, Qaim Ali Shah, I do what I waaawwwwwww'nt.

Now we can totally ignore how no teacher bothered to confiscate her phone for doing something so...unnecessary, but then we see how Sakina got her phone confiscated. Apparently, after looking for several places where she could make a call to her father without being spotted, Sakina chose to hide in the girl's bathroom. In vain, because as soon as she dialled, Miss Shazia barges right in and shouts, "Bathroom kon use kar raha haaiii?" and snatched her phone.
Bad luck or Discrimination? I guess we'll never know. Sakina, however is not happy about it, and we all know how bad it gets when little people are angry. *hides under the bed*

Speaking of...

The one thing that made the extended vacations a menace for the A2s was the delay in getting the letterman jackets. Everyone was eager to have wear the jacket and, guess what, take selfies. BUT, turns out, these jackets are very hungry by nature. Their favorite meal, short people. Yes, while tall and even mid-height people were comfortable in their jackets, the short people were struggling for their lives, trying to avoid being swallowed whole by the jackets.

Rimsha looks good on the jacket, tbh.

As you may see, the jackets likes to eat the arms first. Poor Rimsha, she should enjoy the time she has before she is devoured as a whole. She was a good person. *wipes tears*

Dear Pafians, that's it for this edition of ISpy. Check in next Friday for more exposing news. And also check in every Wednesday for our new segment, Humans of PAF Chapter. You know what, check in every day 'cause we have a cool blog. This is ISpy, and you're being watched!
Now I'll go clean my room, before my mom comes in with a broom! 
That Rhymed!!

*Han Han Ammi, aa raha hun, publish to karne dain*