5 things that every single person alive has got to do at PAF Chapter.

Hi guys, Whatcha doin'? Studying? Are you freaking kidding?

You've got almost the whole life to open and read boring, old course books. You may walk out solemnly out of your classrooms, struggling with e=mc₂ or gritting your tooth and nail to balance the balance sheet, but the only thing you’re really gonna cherish, years from now, are those memories filled in your pockets, loaded with joyous moments, never ending laughter, twists and turns, tearful moments and killer endings.   

College. The word implies so much, so many things to do, so many people to kill, and yet so very, very little time. Your life here, at PAF Chapter, is going to be the highlight of your life, the part of your life that you'll recall and reminisce for ages, and ages to come. And so here we bring you, from yours truly, Faiq (and Hamna and Asad) (and Huda), a fun-guide to steer you through the basic crazy stunts you can carry out to glimmer your college life:

• A must for ALL the Science Students!!! DEMOLISH ALL THE LAB EQUIPMENTS!! (Kidding.) (Sort of).
  We've all had those days in the chemistry or biology labs where things were just not going according to plan; from an entire freaking burette falling down to meet its beloved white tiles like the clash of the titans (A1S4 better know what I’m talking about), to smashing the slides while adjusting the stupid microscopes that just won’t focus right, to spilling concentrated (go big or go home, brah) Hydrochloric Acid all over your chemistry mid-term exam, to Sir Nasir subtly shaking his head and wondering which demonic ritual unleashed you inside his lab: it's all been seen and done. In fact, you're not a real science student unless you've wrecked massive destruction at least once in the laboratories and gotten scolded until your ears bled off.
  Tips on how to get away with breaking things, though? Blame it on your friends. Your beaker broke? The girl next to you did it. The acid dripped down the counter and burnt a hole in your shoe? The girl next to you did it. The ceiling fan fell down? The girl next to you did it.

• Selfies! Seeeelfieeees!!! Selfies everywhere! It's a must!
  In the washroom! Because of course you'd want to remember the good old times spent in the washroom! And ESPECIALLY those days when there actually was hand-soap-thing in the dispenser..
  
  

  

  Yeehaw! Show off that handwash, gurl!

  
  
  In the library! Because, hello, what else are libraries for?
  In the resource room! It has good lighting!
  During lectures! "Miss board pe lectures ki pictures le raha tha na :/"
  In the gym! Because taking pictures is almost as fruitful as working out using those extensive, scary-looking machines!
  In the corridors! Because we're too $waG,, of course Sir Adnan won't notice us using our phon— "BHAGOOO HEADMASSSTERRR ARAHAY HEIN!!!!!!"
  
• Arguing with the Librarian. It's a must. It's such a must-y must, we can't even begin to describe how huge of a must it is. Be it on vague topics, like forgetting to return a book for 5 months, or why the O Levels library apparently contains every book needed by the A Levels, or the talk on the price of rice in China, or otherwise, Sir Makeen has the talent to turn even the most boring moments into frankly, something quite entertaining.
  
• Another thing you'll see oh-so-common at Chapter: Literal crowds of people around one poor person in a maroon gown. Now I wonder, and you wonder, and everyone wonders; what's so special about all these society heads that people won't leave them alone?
  
  Aha! It’s kind of simple really. Favors. Certificates. Getting reputable positions in the school events and bragging about it to all your friends. "Sunoo mein assistant director of media of PAF Intellect ban gai :D:D:D" And how do you accomplish this feat? Befriend these presidents. Laugh at their lame, 2012-meme jokes. Support their utterly weird, awful stances on things: because well, who will select you for events and marathons if not the Inhouse and the Sport Society heads? And who will get you into various debate teams if you don't chum it up with Usama Khawar?
  
  I mean, it's basically worth it. Chances are, despite their possibly bad sense of humor, all of the society heads are actually gr9. Who knows? And at the end of it all, you get certificates! With a C! Certificates! So, wouldn't you totally pretend to care about a certain Outreach Society Head and the constant rejection he faces with girls...... if it means he can get you into volunteering programs and make your university application legen-wait-for-it-dary, legendary?
  
  
  

  

  Hota hei, hota hei, yaar. Saab kai saath hota hei.

  
  
• And the best, create your own memories at Chapter. Be yourself! (Unless you can be Iron Man, in which case, please always be Iron Man.) Brave the O Levels canteen lines and buy yourself a sandwich! Glue a gold coin to the floor and watch people try to pick it up and fail (spectacularly)! Or even better, put awfully huge amounts of glue on a chair and make your (unsuspecting) best friend sit on it. Watch their shirt, and your friendship tear to shreds. I did that once. She's still not talking to me.
  Make memories: make crazy-ass fan-freaking-tastic memories that will be the talk of the school for years after you're gone! Like, once, this guy jumped off the first floor balcony when his girlfriend broke up with him.
  Next week, he had another girlfriend, but really: it's the thought that counts, no?

Soo, what are you gonna do that will make you a stand-out at Chapter? Do you have an idea? No? I have one, sir jee! That guy jumped from the first floor and got a new match. Now, you try your luck from the third floor and get three. Pretty good deal, no?

*psst, Wahaj, we’re looking at you*

Now we can’t really force you to do anything (although we’re pretty sure, regardless of if you’re AS or A2, you have already taken a selfie in the bathroom. Don’t lie. We’re onto you.) but this is just a great place to start if you’ve been searching for a To-Do List or whatever. Also, just because we mentioned 5 things doesn’t mean that’s all there is to experience in the red brick buildings, there’s tonnes of other stuff too!

(Or so we’ve heard).