"Arachnophobic"

Spiderbro story on 4Chan. We have shared this on our blog since it's funny yet depressing. 

Have this cute girl over for dinner one night
See cockroach in the kitchen
"Darn it, the girl I brought home is going to think I'm disgusting"
Spiderbro darts out from under the cabinet and grabs it
I freak out and go to stomp on him
He looks up at me
I hesitate
He pulls the roach under the counter and kills it for me
I go back to dinner

Alright, fine, he can stay

He killed bugs for me all year, even other spiders
I would drop bits of meat on the floor for him to eat
We became fast friends

Dark and stormy night
Burglars break in to rape my girlfriend and kill me
Tackle the first one but the second one pulls a gun out and points it at my face
Prepared to die
Look up
Spiderbro is on the ceiling
Drops onto burglar's face, bites his eye
Burglar freaks out and starts flailing around
I grab the gun
Girlfriend calls the cops
Police come, arrest burglars

I spend the next day looking for Spiderbro
No sign of him
Check his home, see a pile of cockroaches he never ate, just killed and wrapped up for me
Spiderbro gave his life for me
Never forget.