ISpy: Edition Five.

Written by Shehroze Shaikh

Aaj kay din...
Tanhaiyaan bhi hain, bechainiyan bhi hain,
Maasoom dil bhi hain, majbooriyan bhi hain,
Sadaayen teri kyun mujhe aati nahin
Tera intizaar hai, mujhe tujhsay pyaar hai...

Mujhe tujhse pyaar hai, tera intizaar haaaaii.. 

Oh, the wait for this baby is killing m...oh wait, you guys thought...14th Feb...Valenti...NO WAY! Valentine's Day can sit this year out 'cause, to quote Madam Tazeen, "World Cup is here!"
*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*ignores*


I won't tell the guys to turn off their phones, because they won't be getting disturbed either. Even our women go crazy over Pakistan vs India dual. However, no matter how enthusiastic the majority of us get, there is a small fraction of people who disappoint us with the daft obsession over Valentine's Day rather than the mother of all cricket matches. They are to us what muggles were to Draco Malfoy. Like, Shahmeer Lodhi, who had a blue Friday because apparently, he was going to miss out on a hattrick this year. Nope, nothing sporty about it. "Yaaaawr, pichlay do saal say valentine thi, is saal nahi hai. Hattrick miss hogayi", he said...*Tch tch tch*
Then there was Mariam Asghar, who was telling the guys to get chocolates of 14th Feb, just for the heck of it. Madhuri much, Mariam?
From one Madhuri to the other, Mehak Saleem is threatening to beat up boys from her class who lie to their women to get out of this valentines' mumbo jumbo. *WE JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD CUP, MEHAK!* *SHEESSH*

On the other end Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali and Saira Rizvi are busy sending, literally EVERYONE in their friend list a "Who will be your valentine?" request on Facebook.
*Real smooth guys..reaaaaal smooth* *shakes my head*

Khair, let's ignore the muggleness and start off with the headlines!
This week on ISpy:

1. Sakina Abbas 'sleepwalks' out of Economics. #BossWitch
2. Saira Rizvi, the embodiment of the reasons why you shouldn't bring the gossip notebook to school.

*phone rings: 1 notification*
*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*Ignores harder*

She's smart, she's funny, she's got great reasons to kill all of mankind and now, she sleepwalks too. Boss Sakina Abbas, got bored in Economics class...again. But this time, the boredom was a struggle to ignore and she felt she had to get out. Desperate times call for desperate measures, as she stood up all of a sudden, closed her eyes, and walked towards the door, mumbling gibberish along the way. In order to not give herself away, she walked straight into the door a couple of times, before her classmate opened the door and let her out. SUCH A GENIUS. SUCH AUTHENTICITY. No wonder she calls herself the boss. She does what she wants, and with some style. She's a role model for all who are struck with boredom in class...well, that makes all of us, to be honest.

*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*
*IGNORES EVEN HARDER!*

What would you do as a teacher if your student is busy scribbling in her notebook while you give out a lecture? Confiscate the notebook, and we're done, right? Well, not in Sir Raja's class. He's gonna read out that little cluster of pages you call your life, in front of the whole class. Ask Saira Rizvi, the latest victim of such tyranny. Apparently, her notebook also got taken by Sir Raja, who read out songs, gossip..and stuff.. Bottomline, never bring your journal or notebook to school. *hides the diary* *MY PRECIOUS!*

*Syed Bilal Rizwan Ali sent you a Who will be your valentine? request on fb*

*loads the Glock*

BILAL, IF WE GET ANOTHER REQUEST FROM YOU, I'M GOING TO CALL MEERA JEE AND GIVE HER YOUR ADDRESS! *Jeeee bilkulll, of course! (read in Meera jee's accent) AND I WON'T CARE IF YOUR COUSIN DID IT...TWICE..TO EVERYONE! 

Wow are like all the rest of us missing out on something HUGE? O.o

That's it folks this edition of ISpy is all wrapped up. Check in next Saturday, YES SATURDAY! ISpy on Saturdays from now on, k? k.

This is Ispy, and you're being watched!