Football > Life: PAF Chapter Futsal Tournament

Written by: Muhammad Arbaz (El Portero Pinko) A1-C5

 

It was the best of futsal, it was the worst of futsal. (No! just wanted to get a cool line in there, there is no such thing as bad/worst in football; it’s all good) but combining the awesomeness of Football and the star power of dividing the Chapter A' Levels' football team into four quarters is a chemical reaction that won’t go wrong.

But before I go ahead and exhibit just how full I am of myself, I would like to mention how nice it was for international football celebrities to come and join us in our prestigious tournament, on our football court. Oh.. I mean, Basketball court. Stars like Xavi (in glasses), a handful of Messi(s), Dortmund’s star Henrik Mkhitaryan (had to Google the spelling), a bunch of regular Ronaldos and a pink one as well (myself), the star player of “The city of Townsville FC” Arbaz Liaquat with the number 96 shirt (guess he wore it backwards) and I’m pretty sure there was a tiny Santi Cazorla too (zoom in on Saad Nazir). And then there was SpongeBob disguised as a Sabeeh Mohiuddin. Talk about stars!

 

The whole tournament was a gruesome uphill battle and I hate to brag (no, I don’t), but.. *Spoiler Alert* we won. Although I’m pretty sure I’m going to punch Yousuf for almost shooting my head off, and Fidani, who had me blown to bits (had he shot on the target). Carrying on with the 'specifications' of the tournament; it was a war of all against all, with the winner being the team with the most points and wins and with a 10 minute half in the tournament and a 15 minute one in the finals. Now as for the awards, the Golden boot went to the tiny man upfront for Red House, Saad Nazir, whose tiny size and super speedy legs enabled him to Nutmeg the whole opposite team and his too-small-for-the-goalkeeper ability made him shoot the most goals. Now as for the Best Goalkeeper award, *maniacal laugh* this honor and prestige goes to... You guessed it, “El Pinko Ronaldo” (me). The fact that almost everyone tried to deform me into bits and pieces made me happy to wear the pink colour (at least it was for charity).

"Limbo ji, lambu ji" "Bolo, tingu ji" "Merey rastey mein taang na arrana, is ball ko haath na lagana."
 

"Abhe na jaa chhorr kar.." (Sorry, Arbaz. Couldn't find you dolled up in pink.)

Now, I shall be going through all the teams, since it’s easier than going through all the matches. Just a few names got imprinted at the back of my mind, so pardon me if I miss out anyone. 

Yellow House, which was butchered by us 5-2 was led by the Captain of Chapter's team and Yellow House was led by Jahanzaib. Aongside him was Spongebob Sabeeh Pants, with Goalkeeper Liaquat “96”, (Football only has one Arbaz, me). Second up, the presumable underdogs of the Tournament, The Green House faction. For all I can recall is that Yousuf, Ijlal and Shaharyar Zaidi were part of this team. That is the whole team that came to my mind. However, even the underdogs got a few upsets with a draw against the winners of the finals. MEH!! (coulda, woulda, shoulda). NOW, THE FINALISTS! *Stands up like I won the Nobel prize.* The runner up, Blue House was empowered by the international star, Mkhitaryan AKA Ammar- no shoots on target, yet taps in a goal. Fidani- the person who called me a wall. Zaryab- the guy who thankfully didn’t show up and we won. Ali Ul Haque- the man who got injured by me since I jumped on him. No pun intended there. And Osama. This squad had the prestige to go against the Red (with a tint of Pink and Orange) house, comprising of Saad Nazir, Asad Sherdil, Xavi with glasses and ME. The final came to an end with the dignity this tournament deserved. Precisely. The Final had to go through a series of Penalty Shootouts, with a 1-1 match draw. For the Reds, Saad scored an awesome finish and as for the Blues, Fidani tapped in what was one of the most powerful on-target shots he has taken in all his life. The penalties went on as I went in on a 1 on 1 stare off against Zaryab, and with my precise technique of judging the wind, the ball ricochet off me to the top post. Then stepped forth the tiny top scorer, Saad who shot at the goalkeeper's right leg. Not everyone is awesome *coughs*, except for me *coughs*. The second penalty went on to Fidani who, for the first time in his life, shot on the target. Yeah, I missed a penalty. In my defense, I had an injured thumb, plus the ball just didn't stick to my foot and got away. To equalize, our big, white Defender (no, I'm not a racist) scored a penalty which might have hurt the ball itself. It then came to Ammar (Dortmund) and me. The Captain pulled off a Terry-penalty under the crowd's uproar such that the ball went wide off bouncing the red bricks. Asad Sherdil missed the penalty, too. A guy his age? We should be amazed he's still playing. 

CHEESUS CRUST! Look at that guy hanging on to that green shade in the background!
Oh, fierce as a lion, we have Asad Sherdil in the picture, too!

 The penalties went to a sudden death, when I woke up and thought that they require me to push it to Super-Sayan two and go Kamehame-save a pretty powerful and amazing shot by Osama.  Following this, it all came down to the mysterious Xavi in the black shades who, under his secret identity, scored the penalty for a Red House win. With an epic crowd and a cheap team that doesn’t give their keeper a treat, Red House won.

Though, the most interesting part of the Tournament was girls walking right through the court and the match. They didn't stop for one second to look around, they didn't stop to flirtatiously blink their eyes at any of the players and they didn't even stop for my autograph. Then ladies, what were you doing back then?!

 

Editor's note: Never did I realize that the Futsal Tournament was more of a Dance Tournament than a Football Tournament. What, you don't buy that? Well, see for yourself:

The Guy in Green be like, "I got them moves like jagger!"




Let's do the Lungi Dance!

And, to top it off..


TEEHEE.

 
 

One usual day, gone unusual

Written by: Rameesha Tahseen A1-C2   


It was a Saturday morning, the usual winter Saturday morning. I got up on my usual time; half past eight, got my usual warm jacket on, made myself the usual cup of coffee, and headed out. I followed the usual route for jogging, grabbed the paper from the shop on my way and went through it as I walked. Everything was very usual, the usual winter crisp air, the usual chit chatting of the ladies in my neighborhood, the usual running of the kids in the park, the usual chirping of the birds, the usual sight of this gorgeous girl.. Wait, this wasn't usual. And that made my usual Saturday morning, an unusual one.

As she continued to walk towards me I could see her face much more clearly. Her cocoa brown hair, curled from the bottom, her deep ocean blue eyes, sparkling and depicting the soft heart she possessed, her glowing puffy cheeks, her nose all pink. She was a beauty. 'Damn, she's beautiful..', I said to myself. My head started to play a love song as she came nearer, my heart skipped a beat when she came even nearer, though she was almost ten steps away but still near, she stopped, took out the earphones stuck in those lovely ears with tiny gold earrings, she ran her fingers through her hair and set a few strands behind her ears and turned that pretty face towards me and smiled.. God, I died.

Everything usual going on around me stopped for a second, which was more like a life long moment for me and I didn't want it to end. She smiled and tilted her head then she looked down and smiled at the ground, she looked up again and turned towards me, she turned away, and smiled. I was dead already, now I was flying too, it felt like the clouds were underneath my feet. She looked at me again, this time not smiling. She decided to vanish the ten feet gap we had and walked towards me. I remained in the position I was. She came closer and closer. So I was dead, I was flying, but my heart was beating like a drum. Oh it was. The closer she came the louder it could be heard. I was numb. She came and stood right next to me. She decided to come even closer, and whispered something in my ear. 'Hi mister, you're wearing your pants inside out..' That one sentence that didn't crush my dreams, that didn't crush me into pieces with embarrassment, didn't break me down, but that one sentence, made my life. It was an unusual day, why would have the usual interceded?

'My.. Uh.. My pants.. Haha.. Oh.. Oh my God..', I said with a sheepish smile. She walked me to the cafe nearby, I fixed my pants, came out hoping she'd still be there, she was. We had a cup of coffee. Not being in the right state of my mind, having her sitting right in front of me, I got confused whether to simply thank her or ask her if I could thank her, so decided to ask her if I could thank her in the most unusual of ways. I tilted my head, scratching the back of my neck, pouring a good amount of sugar in my coffee, I looked up, not at her but at the wall clock hanging right above her head, 'I.. Uh.. Could.. Can I thank you?' She wore that breathtaking smile on her angelic face once again and nodded a yes. 'Thank you!' I exclaimed catching my breath which I had lost in the time she took to nod a yes.

An hour later, she checked her watch, and stood up to leave. Bidding her goodbye, was incredibly tormenting. I inquired if we could see each other again, 'in case I'm wearing my pants inside out again?', I tried to add in humor to the situation where my heart was breaking. She said it was a nice meeting. She turned and proceeded to leave. As she walked away, I could hear my dreams shattering, one by one and then all at once, but then I heard the pieces getting back together, mending. She turned around and came back to me, 'there's this art exhibition down the alley tomorrow at eight, would you accompany me there?', without even giving it a single thought I said yes.

That day, I had said yes, a year later, she said yes. My wife still double checks if I'm wearing my pants right.

Well, why always do the usual?

The Curse of Pride

Written by: Shahrukh Yousuf A2-C4

One can only survive in this world when given a chance to voice their thoughts. But what if that chance turns into a competition? A competition to decide who has the upper hand.

This is where the seed of pride sprouts into a tree, with its roots hanging on to the heart of the individual poisoning it, corrupting his soul and consuming him completely, making one believe that they take precedence over all.

It will be worthwhile to quote John C. Maxwell, "There are two kinds of Pride, both good and bad. 'Good Pride' represents our dignity and self respect. 'Bad Pride' is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance." Our society has blinded individuals in such a way, that they fail to see the negativity in their actions. When someone craves recognition, they are actually striving for power and superiority and this is accompanied by the curse of pride. Why is pride a curse, some would question. Well, Angels rebelled against God out of "pride", thus were thrown out of heaven and made demons. If pride can turn Angels into Demons, what are the odds for us humans? Thanks to pride, people get so lost in their ambitions, that they forget to look upon their surroundings and what the consequences of their actions are.

When one is in authority, they are likely to become selfish, insensitive and treat others like slaves. Because of this, others start ostracising him. This wounds his ego but he rarely shows it, enduring all the pain in isolation. Pride brings out the worst in a person, it awakens the devil deep in slumber within oneself. It brings out the arrogance hidden by humility; snatches out the disobedience sheltered by patience; scratches out the ego concealed by modesty and ultimately brings out the hate subsided by love.

And one is left to live in a fools paradise, wondering what might have gone wrong. Condemned by his people, his fate enforces loneliness upon himself for his crime was pride.

Chicken Run: The Obstacle Course Race.

Written by Mehak Saleem.
Edited by Shehroze Shaikh.


"On the 30th of September, the A-Level Section hosted their first Obstacle Course Race, which was organized by The Gym Society. The event may not have been in the spotlight but it some how proved to be the most entertaining and successful event so far this year. 16 teams took part in the Obstacle Course, each with a total of six members. The event not only provided the participants with a platform to exhibit their athletic skills but also to show team work. Our utmost gratitude to the organizers, as this event provided us with an opportunity to utilize our strengths and weaknesses."

^Now that is how a REAL reporter would have given you details on the event, right? *yawns*
Luckily for you all, the PAF Chapter Blog provides you with the most amazing events in the manner most appropriate to your taste ( If you know what I mean).

The Obstacle Course was a huge success, no doubt. As mentioned above by my boring side *yawns again*, a total of 16 teams participated. Some were serious about the Race, 'heart racing-adrenaline pumping-battle ready' serious. And then those who were just in for it for the fun or the other possible reasons that may have involved the letter "B". (I meant Bunk. You little pervert, I like the way you think).

Caught Bunking. She had been warned.

As we got through with the assembly, I witnessed participants changing into their tracks (Don't get any bright ideas, people.) wearing t-shirts and jerseys, sticking to their group of 6 and trying to look as united as they possibly could. 

Unity. Well they're sitting together so, this counts. Right?

Around 9 o'clock, the announcements for the event began with the commentators, our very own 'Bang Bang Mr. No-Headboy', Sabeeh Mohiuddin, and his sidekick, his Robin, his Watson, Arbaz Liaquat. These two gave a whole new dimension to the world of commentary (As if three dimensions weren't hard enough *sigh*). As the first team came up, these two fired up all their vocals and kept the audience glued to the event. Just like these two BFFs are glued to each other. Oh, the bromance. Geo Super, take note. We have better commentators than you *points and laughs*.

The Race seemed interesting with all the fancy obstacles. However, it did prove to be quite tricky and difficult for some participants to go through them all in the shortest possible time. For instance, the beam balance made alot of participants taste dirt (or rocks whatever seems appropriate). The benches kept tipping over and in the end it took an amazing idea from an anonymous source to solve that problem. Behold, the mighty TAPE. Yes, the multicolored adhesive strip from heaven that is the solution to every problem. We Pakistanis have a jugaar for everything, don't we? They made it for open wires. We tape it on tennis balls, bats and now benches. Long live jugaar, Long Live Pakistan.

The names of the teams proved to be quite amusing, and cute in the case of Deputy Head Bhai Rasool Naseer's Super Bunnies *awwwww*. Whatever happened to the classy thinking that inspired the Ace of Spades as his Intikhaabi Nishaan. Other names included Team Random (talk about lazy thinkers!), Team X ( I presume Professor Utonium accidentally added Habib to the concoction), Khan Supporters and Team Fauji. But the top of the lot was a team named W-11. Now that's one hell of a name. Though what I don't understand is the inspiration behind the name. Could it be that they were menacingly fast, like a W-11 bus? Or that they smelled like a W11 bus *vomits*. This reminds me of this amazing poem I read a few years ago, titled 'W-11 kay conductor ki Pyar Bhari Ghazal'.

Amazing, isn't it? Who wouldn't name their team W-11 after reading this?

Each team contained at least one very fast athletic member. For instance, Danish Baig, like a one eyed man in a blind group, stormed through the obstacle race in the shortest possible time. He left the crowd hooting with a three pointer at the Basketball court to top it off. I'm sure Danish Baig will be known by everyone now. Congratulations Danish.

Reporter's Blues: Tareef kisi ki Tasveer kisi ki. Sorry Danish, couldn't find your picture.

The most difficult part of this obstacle course seemed to be 'The Tyre'. *chills* Still not sure whether it was borrowed from the school bus or a tractor or was it imported straight from hell, but it did give the girls the fright. Like Hida Hasan gave it her all to lift the ring of rubber from hell. She failed but did not give up. Similar was our little packet of surprise, Rimsha Shakir, who made sure she can flip the tyre, doesn't matter if it was her fourth attempt. So hats-off to both these women! 

"Its taking me higher, higher, higher off the ground."-Rimsha Shakir

Super Bunnies approached the starting line, and the commentators didn't take time to bring our Deputy Head Bhai Rasool Naseer into attention, and Sabeeh made it quite clear that it was the only team consisting of four men (Bhai is beyond the Rules, Sabeeh). As Mehak Saleem (that is, myself) completed her 3 sit ups, she lifted the tyre in one go with anger. (Why? I don't even know). Surprise of the day? Shahmeer Zaheer, captain of the boys' Basketball team, missed a basket which was a huge setback. Now his spot will be taken by Sabeeh Mohiuddin, the Football player, who was seen in a rare serious mood as his turn came. Yes Boys and Girls, our No-Headboy banged the board and scored a beautiful 3 pointer to leave Shahmeer in shame. Football stands victorious in the end.

Now for the results *drumroll*. Team W11...did not win. *Awwwww* Now we know the inspiration wasn't the speed, but the smell. *vomits again*. Team Fauji stood at the top after a tie breaker with Khan Supporters, in which Jahanzaib Khan beat Huzaifa Ali by merely 3 seconds (Khair Hogayi, Huzaifa). Congratulations Team Fauji. Treat, please?

The weather and the atmosphere was perfect for the event and ofcourse the great effort by the teachers and volunteers (including Mehak Saleem, that is, myself) made this a huge success! Being Vice President of the Gym society I was overwhelmed by the response and appreciation by the students. Surely those who missed the event did regret! (She's right. I know I did. *Editor here* ). What I noticed was that not only the participants, but the onlookers enjoyed themselves as well, by supporting their friends and making the atmosphere more electric with the hoots and grunts. Later, commentators like Rasool and Habib made sure, with their witty commentary that everyone had a good time in the end and did not leave unsatisfied. I believe everyone was a winner because the whole section gathered together for only one purpose and that was to enjoy themselves. Be it the participants, running around like chickens in peril, or the spectators, watching this Chicken Run of an Obstacle Course Race (Your Move, PAFMUN?)

Here are a few pictures that couldn't be left out.

See? Told you.

She cant sing, she can't dance, but who cares, she walks like Rihanna.