The Blogging Society 2015-16

To the question that many are (probably not) wondering (but one we will answer anyway); who exactly, is behind the so-called Blogging Society? Who are these people, all these names you may (or may not) (probably not) have heard of? Who writes all the posts that you've read throughout the year? Huh, the point everything retracts back to, what is the Blogging Society?

We're a group of incredibly annoying, incredibly weird, incredibly racist and (yet) incredibly awesome people. (On a good day.) We've got opinions on everything - be it religion, or racism, or disgusting inappropriate things that I don't really care to mention here, or racism, or those godforsaken cats that roam about the godforsaken school, or racism, or something called a Kamil that I don't really know much about: believe me, we've got (sometimes problematic) views on everything. And we love Sherlock! (Except me. I don't watch Sherlock.) We also love sending weird, hard as hell math problems to each other that only Faiq and Faryab can bother to solve, and then proceed to talk about how easy the question was just to make the rest of us feel like crap. Smh. Smh 360 degrees.

(Fun point! If you aren't in the society, or don't particularly care for anyone in the society; don't read all the random gibberish below. It's all random. Gibberish. It'll probably bore you. Drive you berserk. I love the word berserk. Berserk. "Don't be berserk, Greg!")

(Another fun point! Some of the profiles written below were written by random people I picked off the streets. If you find something particularly offending, please don't hit me. Also, I see you've decided to read on. Bad decisions, much?)

(Yes, I know. I'm failing to see the fun in these fun points too.)

(Berserk. Who even came up with this word?!)

*-*

• Hamna Fatima, President of the Society（´◉◞౪◟◉) (Yep, that's me.) (I was forced to publish this article against my will.)

Hamna Fatima, (commonly known as FTM because of her oh so cool name on Facebook.. eye roll..) is one of the most retarded society heads to EVER exist, as many can relate! She's batshit crazy; if you see someone jumping around and screaming all over the campus, you know it's her. It's always her. Ignoring all the abnormalities, however, she is truly an amazing person. FTM is one of the most genuine people you will ever come across, and also a very blunt one: for example, if she thinks your BOYFRIEND IS UGLY, she will tell you to your face that your BOYFRIEND IS UGLY :) :)
Writing on her per se.. is so hard because she is way more than 12 lines you can read and Voila! understand; she's like that haiku which requires 50 hours of understanding (and somehow that won't be enough either). She's all of that paradoxical bullshit; she'll tell you you look ugly when you don't, she'll embarrass you in front of your crush and laugh while she watches your entire life fall apart and burn.
Hamna will send you random messages about one of her obsessions and you'll have to pretend you care because she's too hard to ignore, le sigh. (Especially with that Daddario guy, like, no one knows him, man) She isn't two dimensional, she has so many freaking dimensions it's not humanly possible. Also, she's bipolar. She's the queen of bipolarity, if there ever was one.
All jokes apart though, her craziness is what puts a smile on people's faces and even though she pretends not to care (and acts like an utter asshole), she (deep down) cares more than most people would. (I think) (Product Not Guaranteed ™)

• Huda Nadeem, the Vice President

Huda Nadeem is many things, and being scary is all of them. She's so scary she could castrate you from a thousand miles and smile while she does it. Don't step on her shoes. She will punch you in the throat and then proceed to murder you. She's just... very.. scary..

Really. I don't even know what to say. We have a very scary Vice President. Don't mess with us.
(´^ิ益^ิ｀ ) 

You can always see her sitting in the Block B corridors, her giant gown flapping about her, with a book in her hand. On the off chance you don't see her, she's probably in the counselor's office. Or you know. She could always be in class. I guess. You know what sets Huda apart from everyone else (at least for me, it does)? Her height. Honestly, that girl will end up giving me a complex someday and she won't even know it. She's as funny as anyone could ever hope to be, with a sarcasm so fatal, it should be illegal. Talking to her is so pathetically entertaining, because she always has something to say and you'll find yourself laughing along with her, like 6 seconds after you meet her! Her absolute best trait? She'll be the one person who understands your psychotic obsession with a serial killer (part time torturer, part time bastard) and will love him too! (Hint: it's Valentine Morgenstern!) (Yes, I know he murdered his son.) (He's so beautiful, though..) Huda is someone you can count on in your time of need, she'll always be there for you. For example: if you ask her to bring you a scale for your physics test because you don't have one, she'll totally bring it! Even if you ask at 6 am, and she won't even complain about the timing.

Of course, later on she'll just give that scale to her other friend that apparently needed it, and screw you up 4 minutes before the exam.. but... that's a story for another day..

• Asad Raza, General Secretary 

He's tall, he's dark and he's ...depressed.You know you've heard his name regardless of whether or not you've met him, it echoes down the corridors practically every other day.Yep, you've guessed correctly — I'm talking about Asad Raza here. It's not like his name is written in bold right at the top, or anything.
Hailing from A1S4 (and sometimes from A1S2), Asad is quite the one of a kind. He's so mighty you can see him lifting 0.00001 gram weights in his free time (that is, except when he's in the library). (He's always in the library.)
You'd never find someone who studies more devotedly than him. You'd never find someone who gives everything he's got to every single minor thing he does — and you'd never find someone who's more desperate for chemistry than him. Seriously. If chemistry was a person, she'd put Asad under a restraining order. Of about 6,000 kilometers. If chemistry was a person, she'd call Asad over and then set her own house on fire (when he arrives) and run away. If chemistry was a person... let's just say we're all very.. very.. lucky chemistry isn't a person.

Ha.. ha.. ha.. *awkward laugh in background*

Seriously though, this guy is hilarious. (Ignoring the picture above; we all have awkward phases, right?) He'll make you laugh until your sides hurt, and then he will make you laugh even more because he is an evil psychopath that needs to be stopped. He'll insult you every 5 seconds even though you're the freaking president of the freaking society, get hit by a truck in the process and then continue to make fun of you. He'll solve all your ugly math problems within minutes, help you out whenever he can, and somehow still manage to crack a joke somewhere in the between. That is, when he's not lost in the depths of misery and grief, which is like 95% of the time. And in the other 5%, he's probably sleeping (he can never sleep enough); so really, it's a wonder he's managed to stay alive this long. Kudos.

MEMBERS:

• Maham Khan 
  
  Describing Maham without using curse words every three seconds is like trying to sucker punch a striped rabbit in neon highlights, In other words, it's very hard. Often impossible. You know what else is impossible? Surviving day after day sitting next to her, suffering through her endlessly disgusting jokes and awkward humor. And yet, here I am. Something to be said about adaptation, I guess.

Goddess, much?

With hair as curled up as your telephone's wire could ever hope to be, with a RBF that could murder onlookers 8 miles afar and sarcasm so on-point that it could impale you, she's a force to be reckoned with. (Fun point! Please don't take this as a challenge, She will end you.) You can find her rotting in A2S2 all day long, staring at books and finding no motivation to study. You can also find her abusing the living crap out of poor old me; honestly, a single slap by Maham will crush your bones to sawdust and darken your daylights. How to avoid being hit by her?

Do.
Not.
Call.
Her.
Boyfriend.
Ugly,

Just don't. She will kill you, drink your blood, probably perform some demonic ritual on your drained corpse and dance over your rotting flesh, just to prove a point. On the brighter side of the not-so-bright spectrum, she's full of crap. Honestly. Talking to her for 3 seconds will make you feel so much better about yourself and your future; because if she can be herself and still survive this world, so can we all! And to top off all of her positively charming qualities, she's funny (sometimes)! (Also, her selfies will make you want to date her and you will be CRUSHED when she says no.) #BeenThere

• Abdullah Abdul Ghani

This guy, right here is a man-boy who is a bit of a walking contradiction. He can swear like a sailor but on the other hand recites the Quran beautifully. Also, he blushes. Like, a lot. He is as book smart as a person can get but as he made obvious on the first day for AS, he's got no idea how to behave in a socially accepted manner infront of pretty girls. The thing is, though, if he's taking notes from popular series like Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey -which our sources say he has not only read but also enjoyed- it's just really not working for him. Ending, this, I'd like to guarantee that anyone can indeed see him blushing like a tween girl. All you have to do is start talking about something embarrassing or not completely socially acceptable, or even his crush, and you will see a boy transform into a tomato before of your very eyes.

• S. M. Ali Ul- Haque

Introducing the most maniacal, insomnia ridden, and the most deceptively evil white person in PAF Chapter; well, he looks like a Mexican, behaves like a black dude, his eyes are Asian, his mentality is White and he gets angry like a Pathan. Biracial, much? You know what, scratch that. Cancel the entire thing.

Introducing the Evil Panda of PAF Chapter: Syed Mohammad Ali-ul-Haq (He's gonna give me a lecture for misspelling that). Ali is a person who will never stop bragging; in fact, he often brags about his ability to brag. PAF Chapter's very own lying, cheating, FIFA playing, football slaying, Donald Trump look alike. A lot can be written about Ali, like his late night mood swings, how at one moment he'll make a joke about politics and start predicting the behaviors of economy, the next. His inability to sing and the fact that he won't stop singing. Ali is a lot of things, and regardless of the pride he has for his speed and football, he's a really "swell" guy to be around (this was not a fat joke). He's the sort of person who would not let you get bored, he'll help you out in your time of need and hopefully stick a joke about a disabled kid somewhere. 

So, on the Behalf on City School PAF Chapter,

You Haqueing Rock Bruh.    (You really don't.) (Please stop.)

• Arbaz iforgothislastnameagain

If you ever hear a crude joke, horrible singing/rapping or any other form of obscenity and you see a rather dark fellow at the epicenter of it just know that, that is Arbaz Mohammed. If you ever speak to him you’ll realize he puts the D in disturbing. He's PAF Chapter’s very own N word (Narcissist, pfft) but that’s not all there is to the guy. Darkness, my good friend is the Goalkeeper and Captain of the Football team, something in the Basketball team and he plays some mediocre table tennis and badminton. Arbaz is a lot of things; he’s an idiot, a liar, insensitive, mephistophelian, a fiend, a thief, arrogant, vain and he exaggerates everything but….. even being all that you’ll know that this man is genuine. He’ll never pretend to be anything but himself wherever he goes no matter what anyone thinks and that’s a trait you won’t find in many people.

• Faiq Raees

If you don’t know who Faiq is, your best bet is to tune into National Geography Wild. DO IT! Or you can simply read this passage if getting up and switching on the telly is too much of a task for you.
I know… you are a lazy piece of !@#*, so I have cut down the work for you. You are not welcome.
Faiq hails from A1-S4. He is a jolly person who happens to be an avid chess player as well. When he doesn’t have his classes, you will ALWAYS find him playing chess. He loves playing chess against Miss Shazia, sometimes I think she is his only friend. #SorryNotSorry So, yeah, finding him is pretty easy. So is kidnapping him. Like, for example to kidnap a white girl, you will make a trap around a Starbucks drink. To trap him, all you need is a chess board. And if you think kidnapping him will get you money, then you are so wrong! His parents had enough of him anyway, 16 years. That is a whole lot of time; many people at Chapter can’t even count till 16!Faiq is like Saitama from One Punch Man when it comes to chess. He will let his opponents baffle how good they are and then crush them as quick as Taylor Swift writes a new song after her breakup.  He even looks like Saitama. Yes, he has an oval head, but he is not bald. He might get bald, maybe? I don’t know!
He would love to lend you a hand if you need help. Except for if you are a serial killer. He loves TV shows and is superb at making bad decisions. He is not the type of guy you would resort to help if your life is on the line. I wouldn't call him an introvert because once he starts speaking, he doesn’t stop. I started a conversation with him once, my ears still bleed. Not because he talks too much, this is because of all the stupid things that come out of his mouth. He is a great company to have because he's always got things to talk about. So, if you wish to mingle with him, you know where to find him: the corridors.

• Faryab Haye

You might get to see a dark, bespectacled guy at school, a little short, with a bright neon bag. There isn't much chance that he even night be available, because this is the kind of super hardworking guys you come across in class who excel in sciences and try to get as much subjects as possible. This guy here, this is Faryab. 
Intelligent, friendly, very realistic and practical towards life, confused, and oh how can we forget? A foodie. Brace yourselves ladies, he knows how to really cook and he is aiming to be a successful astrophysicist one day. This guy is selfless and actually wants others to get to the top with him. 
Regardless of working super hard he somehow is left with loads of time to watch shows, play games, and read books. And yes, you might see him playing chess too. 
This was Faryab. Just another guy but one who you might hear about in years to come.

• Hassan Shakeel

Pronounced as ‘Ha-san Shakeel’ and not to be confused as ‘Has-san Shakeel’, is another PAFian just like you and me. On the first day of school he hit me as one of the few people who I might actually be glad to befriend; later my prejudiced judgement turned out to be completely correct. Unlike most ‘GC boyz’ Hassan is a geeky-nerdy type of fellow. Once you get to know him; he’s gonna enthral you with his witty racist humor and lame, yet funny jokes. For personality types he’s on the introverted side of the spectrum, unless you yourself socialize with him, he won’t socialize with you either, so if you want him to open up, you better do the same. He’d rather prefer to keep his friend circle close to him than have friends all over the campus. Aside from his humor, he’s also great at academics, fond of football (or soccer if you call it that) and loves to read books and watch TV shows in his spare time. He’s a little hard to crack on the surface but once you get to know him you’ll feel like you’re talking to someone you should have met a long time ago.

• Huda Hamid

She's a retard. She's a social retard, she's a romantic retard. She's obsessed with MBTI, she's obsessed with Tumblr, she overthinks the meaning of life to the point of having an existential crisis, and she researches personality disorders to choose whichever one seems to fit her best. She's awesome. She's Huda Hamid; she'll like a song as long as it doesn't make sense to her, and she would totally like to try LSD! Because.. really.. who.. wouldn't? She's weird as heck, (and her dream may be to run away and become a hippie) but Huda Hamid is one of the few people who'll tell you your shit like it is. She's awesome. Goddamnit. (Marry me? No?)

• Inshirah Tahir

Inshirah Tahir is the love of my life, and I'm not even kidding here. She's beautiful, she's funny, she's confident, she's oh, so awesome; I don't even know what to say. Inshirah Tahir could spit on my face and I would say thank you.

She's so hardworking, she's one of the few, rare people that will motivate you into walking out and saving the world or something, within like 7 seconds of knowing her. Whether it's 2 am or 2 pm, you know she'll be doing something or the other: be it organic chemistry, or preparing for her next MUN; it's amazing. (Side note: Take care of yourself! Sleep more!) (She's so sleep deprived, it makes me want to bawl my eyes out.) She'll support you no matter what, she'll always be there for you. She'll be there for you through everything, and the best point: she's obsessed with coffee. Literally, And she never eats actual food. Inshirah Tahir is a package of rainbows and caffeine and if there's nothing in the world that you could possibly count on, you can always count on her freaking out and overreacting before the Closing Ceremonies. In a world where everything is mortal and time flies by, that's the one constant we will always have.

• Kiran Shahid Khan

This girl, according to her classmates has no chill. But, when you get grades like Kiran does, who even needs chill? Sources say that she loves two things, fandoms and math, especially a certain math sir. OooOo. 
She is reported to have never bunked a class. Like ever. Not counting that one time Sir Aijaz literally made her skip his class and apparently, even then she ended up going to the library. This girl is gonna go places in the future. My spidey senses can feel it.

• Mahad Tariq

Mahad Tariq is quite the one of a kind; he loves Batman, like he really really really really loves Batman. He loves Batman so much, he probably wears a Batman suit under his uniform and talks in a deep tone, just so he can pretend he's Bruce Wayne 2.0. He's the most annoying friend you could ever have, he'll snow spray @ you even if it's not your birthday, and he gets away! with! everything! why! Teach me your ways!! He'll come late to class every actual freaking day and then make a flimsy excuse about how his van comes late. (It doesn't!)

Mahad... is very.. weird.. I don't even know how to put it any other way. He likes to throw cats at random people for the hell of it just so he can scare the living crap out them; he likes to take the creepiest pictures of his friends and then put them on Snapchat so the whole world can laugh at them. (Sarim, I know you can relate.) Mahad's biggest wish is to drown all his friends in the school swimming pool, and he'd do it without a second thought too! Of course, then he'll have to get in the water and save them, and simultaneously show off his swimming skills, but whatever.

• Nida Fatima

She might look a teensy bit intimidating, what with all the outbursts and vague and loud hand gestures, but befriending this girl would be one of the few things that you do right in your life. For the first couple years I was friends with her, I didn't even know her name. And she had to remind me every time, but she never even seemed annoyed with it. She was a really good sport about it. Nida can make anyone feel at ease with in a matter of seconds. This might have something to do with the fact that she literally watches and reads pretty much everything thus allowing her to engage in conversation about a n y t h i n g.

Nida is sarcastic, sassy and somehow also manages to be the sweetest person alive when she's in a good mood.

• Sara Tariq

Sarah Tariq; a Freshman at the A-levels section at City School PAF Chapter, is one of the few blessed students who has secured for herself a place in the school's Blogging Society.
Sara is... well, interesting. She's not the average 'girly-girl'. Not only does she write, but she's into comic books as well. While most boys would think that brains and her love for super-heroes would suffice for a jackpot, there's more to her personality. She's extremely friendly and nice, and if she knows you, she'll make you feel special. She's very interesting too.I once had  a close associate of her telling me something along the lines of, "She's very intriguing, I wanted to know a lot about her, kind of like wanting to dissect a cockroach." 

Which is.. honestly.. so.. goals.. I've always wanted someone to compare me to cockroach dissection, goddammit. 

• Wahaj Ahmed

Wahaj Ahmed is many things; he's tall (but somehow un-grows (?) shorter every time you see him), he's hilarious on a good day, he's dedicated to the utmost extreme, and when he yells at you; You. Will. Feel. Like. Absolute. Garbage. I'm not kidding, he'll make you feel like an insignificant frog with rotten skin and fungus all over it.

He's the head of the Outreach Society, and he is quite literally all over the freaking place. You can find his blue bag with ten thousand key chains on it thrown across the main ground, with him racing from the counselor's office to his class to the admin office to his little corner in Block B where he spies on unsuspecting people and takes pictures of them. Kidding. I don't know for sure if he does the last bit, but knowing him? He probably does.

He's hardworking to the bone, and he's got like 5As to show for it! And almost 4 likes on his Facebook page! (FINALLY.) He's currently doing a wonderful job for the Ilm Sab Kai Liye program; interviewing the domestic of the campus, and collecting money to help them out. （´◉◞౪◟◉) You can see his hard work all over his Facebook account; he's probably single-handedly motivated the entire school to donate for the cause,

Isn't that the nicest thing you've read all week? Well, don't be fooled. Wahaj is a wreck. Desperate for a university admission, and even more desperate for a girlfriend, he's someone who's life's crisis scenarios could be a valid plot-line for a lame sitcom. He's that guy who's whole life will probably be made should any girl look his way for approximately 0.5 seconds, give or take. He once fooled someone to take a picture with him, and now he has that as his phone wallpaper and stares at it all day long. Creepy much? You wish. Wahaj Ahmed doesn't try to be creepy, creepy tries to be him.

• Zoha Ashfaq

If you see a girl that fits your typical girl next door image in a prefect's gown walking with utter sass with two other girls and a gang of five guys behind her (completely bro-zoned), that's Zoha. She's not your quintessential brown girl. She has so much substance, you'll always be interested when you're talking to her. Best thing is that when you're talking to her, you know she's always listening. We all have that one friend that always wants to make everyone laugh, who wants to spread joy and have everyone be happy, whether it's by typical dad jokes or the lamest puns you have ever heard (that make you laugh either way). To sum this up, Zoha is the textbook edition of adorable. Like a human golden retriever. This is one of the reasons she joined the Blogging Society; she wants to make people laugh because, well, everyone needs a break from their high strung lives. She has a creative side that many people don't see often; and not only does she write, but she also sketches and takes bomb af photos. She has an immense wonderlust and an insane amount of creativity. And! She's an absolute sucker for Bon Jovi. (Don't tell.)

lI'm not going to pretend writing and assembling things for this article hasn't killed me; it has. If you're still reading this, thank you for reading this. You really don't have a life, do you? To others: thank you for helping me with this, thank you for writing on whoever I asked you to write on; Faryab, this is why I wanted you to write on Hassan. Not because I have an insane crush on Hassan. Also, Arbaz, you suck. This is all the people in my society; and ya'll rad as hell. This one's for you (duh). Thank you for being in the Student Blogging Team 2015, and thank you for spamming my phone all day long. It wouldn't be the same without ya'll. (It'd probably be better.)

Do we still remember?

Written By: Mahad Tariq

"I woke up, I prayed, I was as excited as ever.

That this day would be the end, occurred to me never.

My mother and father waved me as I went past

For none of us knew it would be our last

My forehead was still warm from my mother's kiss

The very forehead the bullet failed to miss

Our school; our home, our safe haven where we played and grew

Would one day host a mast massacre no one knew

Peaceful we were sitting in our class

That's when the school echoed with the blast

The savage, the beast entered with his gun

We pleaded for sympathy but there was to none

They made sure that no target was missed

They failed to realize the youngest killed was only six

I screamed, I screeched , I made every sound

But help was indeed nowhere to be found

Perhaps it was all written in our fate

And help, when it came, came very late

We watched as our brave teacher got engulfed in fire

We watched proudly as each one of us slowly became a martyr

With time we forgot the fear and the excruciating pain

For remember martyrs never die, we always remain

We have left behind a legacy that you'll all remember

Try not to forget us every December."

\

I had been thinking of writing about this for a very long time, but was afraid of how all the emotions that I had faced on that accursed day would rush back; how shocked I’d been when I reached home from my school to know that APS, Peshawar had been attacked by militants; how helpless I had felt, to watch the number of martyrs increase with every passing hour to finally reach an unprecedented number of students and staff killed in all of Pakistan’s history. How heartbreaking had it been, to see the whole media coverage; parents and family members rushing from one hospital to another in search of their loved ones, injured students in their blood stained uniforms being carried to the ambulances. How depressing it was, when the images of the scene emerged few hours later; the picture of the auditorium where the largest massacre took place, the blood stained shoes and uniforms, walls riddled with bullets, bodies of children lying atop of each other.

And how disheartening it was, to read the stories of the attack; of how brutally those children and teachers had been massacred.

Do we remember those 144 innocent lives that were mercilessly extinguished that day?
But do we still remember?

Do we remember those monsters that did not even spare a six year old girl Khaula for whom, it was her first day of school?

Do we remember the 13 year old Uzair who received 11 bullets to his body?

Do we remember the brave principal of the school Tahira Qazi, who chose to face the militants and die with her students instead of escaping the scene?

Do we remember the valiant teachers who refused to leave their students and fought until the last moment to get them to safety, only to be cruelly killed in the process?

Do we remember how after the attacks some anti-state figures refused to condemn the attacks?

Do we remember how the survivors later returned to that very same school, where they watched their friends die in?

One year into the incident and I often find questioning myself: where do we stand now? Have we forgotten everything? Have we silenced our call for revenge? Have we learned anything from it at all, or has it just become another occurrence which will be mourned every December and forgotten the other 11 months?

I am aware, as students, there is little we can do. We cannot completely console the grieving families. We cannot return their sons, fathers, sisters and mothers to them. We can do little in countering the terrorism in Pakistan. We cannot change the attitude of our careless leaders. But what little we can do in the aftermath of this tragedy is to remember these unfortunate souls, to remember their sacrifice, to remember the bravery they showed at the face of barbarity, to remember the survivors who are still struggling with moving forward, to remember our enemies and their sympathizers, to remember the sacrifices this country has made in moving towards peace and prosperity, remember to live our lives with a responsibility of serving our country to the best of its interests, remember to counter the extremist ideology, remember the dreams that the young martyrs had, remember that they were the bright future of this country, remember that we must carry their missions forth.

Remember the promise that we made to ourselves on that day;

Of never to forgive and never to forget.

The Bake ""Sale""

Written by: Faryab Haye and Hamna Fatima

Bake sale, bake sale, bake sale.. for weeks, posters and fliers were taped all over the campus walls featuring the prep section bake sale! For those who don’t know; a bake sale is not like Black Friday with huge discount on bakery items such as fresh bread, cake and pastry (as it’s name might suggest..), instead, it’s like a small carnival sort of thing, arranged in our school each year. This so-called carnival includes small rides, stalls for all kinds of street food, games and other attractions. Then the profit made from these adequately priced stalls and attractions goes to charity (or so they say).

This year the attractions included much of the same attractions as every other year, with a few exceptions; we had a camel, a horse, ..even a donkey.. and, and, and rickshaw rides (because of course we’d all like to experience rickshaw rides), a toota-hoa-not-safe-at-all-please-attempt-at-your-own-risk ferris wheel, a swinging (pirate?) ship, giant hamster balls and quad-bikes from sea view!

You know what’s fun? Riding on a horse, laughing at your friends falling off the horse..
You know what’s not fun? ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON HORSE SHIT. YUCK. It’s like bakra eid all over again; looking on the ground while walking is definitely a good idea during bake-sales...

Inside the tent there were several different stalls. All sorts of over priced food items were available; biryani, haleem, pizza, rolls, limca, cotton candy and even soup (really?). Aside from eatables, there was hairspray, games, jail, roses and song dedication. (Rumor has it some A-levels went from person to person and gladly exploited the economy; “Hair spray karwana hai? Sirf 30 rupee ka hai? Karwalo na??”).
Songs were blasted at ear-splitting volumes (because what’s a bake sale if you aren’t at-least half deaf?) and people enjoyed them to the extreme.

Kon nazar agaya, bhai? :/

Classes were bunked, water thrown at people, and Chapter Studios, once again did a wonderful job, taking pictures of everyone who demanded so. And believe me, lots of people wanted their picture taken. Bruh.

Friends were forced to give treats:
“Bhai aap kei SAT mein 2000 agai, treat tou banti hei na??”
“”Abay, dafa hoja, baray aye””
(Psst psst, I’m looking at you, Osman) (and Asad) (and Daniyal) (and Shahzain) (and Maheera) (and you too, Abdullah-- Entreship kai baad treat dena must hei..)

The jail was fun though, 7th graders dragged people in and forced them to bail themselves out! Here’s a picture of one of the inmates in its natural habitat:

Perhaps the best stall was the face paint; we’ve all seen paintings of Mickey Mouse and cat faces but this year’s face paints were on a whole another level!

..And we thought Annabelle was scary!

One tip for bake sales though, DO NOT greet your old teacher's, even if out of respect. They will hold onto you, they will ask you to buy something from their stall and you will end up doing what they say…

Moving on, DID ANYONE NOTICE THE DUST INSIDE THE TENT? It was like watching Mad Max Fury Road all over again. You literally couldn’t see more than 10 feet ahead of you! I feel bad for all the kids whose parents got a look at the state of their shoes when they got home. Sprinkling water onto the mud was a futile attempt at remedying anything…

Outside the tent again… We (Arbaz, Kamil, Sara and Faryab) decided it would be a great idea to go up to random people and start singing random songs. So if anyone was wondering why we did that, even we don’t know… It was fun though, serenading/creeping people out with Frozen’s Let It Go, Phineas and Ferb’s theme song, Dora the Explorer and Dexter’s Laboratory… and inspired the Blogging Society’s head to hide in the girl’s washroom, fearful of us… (insert creepy laughter here)

After that everyone was supposed to gather for a very important announcement… which everyone already knew about... （´☣౪☣) 3 DAY WEEKEND, YAY! （´☣౪☣)

In the end the whole affair was a huge success. The attractions, although extremely overpriced, were very enjoyable and everyone had loads of fun. The Prep Section, truly, did a great job arranging this year’s Bake Sale. Well done!

(◕‿◕✿) 

Big Things Come in Small (..like, really small) Packages

Written By: Nida Fatima

We’re going to kick off this year’s ‘Humans of Chapter’ posts with a particularly special cookie. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Wait, is it the LOTR ‘cause I’m pretty sure that’s a hobbit???? Oh, nevermind, it’s just Faryal.

She goes by many names such as Faryal, Farz, Littler Wayne, Shortstack, Shortie etc. At a resounding 5’2”, get on her bad side and tiny here can manage to knock you out in one fair swoop.  

Now, I’m sure we all have that one friend who everyone takes a liking to. The fabulous lady I’m going tell you about is definitely that friend.

Let’s get one thing straight from the start: Faryal is one of the very few actually genuine people you will have the pleasure of meeting.

Okay, so, I’m not going to lie. She’s a wee bit on the crazier side of the female spectrum. But, hey the crazy ones know how to have the most fun. Would she kick a truck for fun? Hell yeah. She would level up. She would drive the truck off a freeway for fun. Trust me. If she can cartwheel down a flight of stairs and jump off the first floor all in the name of fun, this chick can do anything. Yes, yes, I know she may not be the sharpest crayon of the bunch when it comes to these things, but real talk though; this girl is hella ace.

Just a warning, if you hear something that sounds like nails scratching a chalkboard in the halls, Don’t! Be! Alarmed! It’s just Faryal singing. She’s the girl that you will find dancing in the middle of the dance floor if her jam is on. You DO   N O T    get in between a girl and her jam. We clear? Okay, good. ‘Cause if you try, you will FOR SURE get cut.

Remember that time you heard demonic screeching and wondered whether the world was ending because Hell had been unleashed on Earth? Still need an explanation? Fret not, it was just Faryal freaking out over a bird thinking it could invade her personal space. Meaning it was 20 ft away from her and she started screeching. Clearly not about that #NetflixAndChill life when it comes to birds, aye, Faryal?

While Faryal hates birds and questions their reason for existence she loves* her friends.

(*May be subjected to provision of food and entertainment.)

But the one thing she isn’t particularly keen on, is Plastics. I mean, nobody likes plastics unless you’re one of them. If you’re a plastic and you know it,I suggest you stay away from this chick unless you want to get cut.

RUN far… F A R away.

We all have that one crazy friend who we could never live without. Faryal IS that friend. With her hair up in that hella sassy ponytail she could literally pull a Beyonce. #WhoRunTheWorldGirls

Girls like Faryal and I are an acquired taste. Love us, hate us, but you can’t ignore us. Consider yourself #Blessed if you have Faryal or someone like her in your life. She will love you for who you are and never ever judge you**. (She may cut you, but she ain’t ever gon’ judge you.)

**Unless you’re an absolute idiot (like some people… you know who you are), in which case..

PS: Faryal, I know you’re reading this. You my go to. *insert four crying-laughing-dying emojis here*