5 things that every single person alive has got to do at PAF Chapter.

Hi guys, Whatcha doin'? Studying? Are you freaking kidding?

You've got almost the whole life to open and read boring, old course books. You may walk out solemnly out of your classrooms, struggling with e=mc₂ or gritting your tooth and nail to balance the balance sheet, but the only thing you’re really gonna cherish, years from now, are those memories filled in your pockets, loaded with joyous moments, never ending laughter, twists and turns, tearful moments and killer endings.   

College. The word implies so much, so many things to do, so many people to kill, and yet so very, very little time. Your life here, at PAF Chapter, is going to be the highlight of your life, the part of your life that you'll recall and reminisce for ages, and ages to come. And so here we bring you, from yours truly, Faiq (and Hamna and Asad) (and Huda), a fun-guide to steer you through the basic crazy stunts you can carry out to glimmer your college life:

• A must for ALL the Science Students!!! DEMOLISH ALL THE LAB EQUIPMENTS!! (Kidding.) (Sort of).
  We've all had those days in the chemistry or biology labs where things were just not going according to plan; from an entire freaking burette falling down to meet its beloved white tiles like the clash of the titans (A1S4 better know what I’m talking about), to smashing the slides while adjusting the stupid microscopes that just won’t focus right, to spilling concentrated (go big or go home, brah) Hydrochloric Acid all over your chemistry mid-term exam, to Sir Nasir subtly shaking his head and wondering which demonic ritual unleashed you inside his lab: it's all been seen and done. In fact, you're not a real science student unless you've wrecked massive destruction at least once in the laboratories and gotten scolded until your ears bled off.
  Tips on how to get away with breaking things, though? Blame it on your friends. Your beaker broke? The girl next to you did it. The acid dripped down the counter and burnt a hole in your shoe? The girl next to you did it. The ceiling fan fell down? The girl next to you did it.

• Selfies! Seeeelfieeees!!! Selfies everywhere! It's a must!
  In the washroom! Because of course you'd want to remember the good old times spent in the washroom! And ESPECIALLY those days when there actually was hand-soap-thing in the dispenser..
  
  

  

  Yeehaw! Show off that handwash, gurl!

  
  
  In the library! Because, hello, what else are libraries for?
  In the resource room! It has good lighting!
  During lectures! "Miss board pe lectures ki pictures le raha tha na :/"
  In the gym! Because taking pictures is almost as fruitful as working out using those extensive, scary-looking machines!
  In the corridors! Because we're too $waG,, of course Sir Adnan won't notice us using our phon— "BHAGOOO HEADMASSSTERRR ARAHAY HEIN!!!!!!"
  
• Arguing with the Librarian. It's a must. It's such a must-y must, we can't even begin to describe how huge of a must it is. Be it on vague topics, like forgetting to return a book for 5 months, or why the O Levels library apparently contains every book needed by the A Levels, or the talk on the price of rice in China, or otherwise, Sir Makeen has the talent to turn even the most boring moments into frankly, something quite entertaining.
  
• Another thing you'll see oh-so-common at Chapter: Literal crowds of people around one poor person in a maroon gown. Now I wonder, and you wonder, and everyone wonders; what's so special about all these society heads that people won't leave them alone?
  
  Aha! It’s kind of simple really. Favors. Certificates. Getting reputable positions in the school events and bragging about it to all your friends. "Sunoo mein assistant director of media of PAF Intellect ban gai :D:D:D" And how do you accomplish this feat? Befriend these presidents. Laugh at their lame, 2012-meme jokes. Support their utterly weird, awful stances on things: because well, who will select you for events and marathons if not the Inhouse and the Sport Society heads? And who will get you into various debate teams if you don't chum it up with Usama Khawar?
  
  I mean, it's basically worth it. Chances are, despite their possibly bad sense of humor, all of the society heads are actually gr9. Who knows? And at the end of it all, you get certificates! With a C! Certificates! So, wouldn't you totally pretend to care about a certain Outreach Society Head and the constant rejection he faces with girls...... if it means he can get you into volunteering programs and make your university application legen-wait-for-it-dary, legendary?
  
  
  

  

  Hota hei, hota hei, yaar. Saab kai saath hota hei.

  
  
• And the best, create your own memories at Chapter. Be yourself! (Unless you can be Iron Man, in which case, please always be Iron Man.) Brave the O Levels canteen lines and buy yourself a sandwich! Glue a gold coin to the floor and watch people try to pick it up and fail (spectacularly)! Or even better, put awfully huge amounts of glue on a chair and make your (unsuspecting) best friend sit on it. Watch their shirt, and your friendship tear to shreds. I did that once. She's still not talking to me.
  Make memories: make crazy-ass fan-freaking-tastic memories that will be the talk of the school for years after you're gone! Like, once, this guy jumped off the first floor balcony when his girlfriend broke up with him.
  Next week, he had another girlfriend, but really: it's the thought that counts, no?

Soo, what are you gonna do that will make you a stand-out at Chapter? Do you have an idea? No? I have one, sir jee! That guy jumped from the first floor and got a new match. Now, you try your luck from the third floor and get three. Pretty good deal, no?

*psst, Wahaj, we’re looking at you*

Now we can’t really force you to do anything (although we’re pretty sure, regardless of if you’re AS or A2, you have already taken a selfie in the bathroom. Don’t lie. We’re onto you.) but this is just a great place to start if you’ve been searching for a To-Do List or whatever. Also, just because we mentioned 5 things doesn’t mean that’s all there is to experience in the red brick buildings, there’s tonnes of other stuff too!

(Or so we’ve heard).

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COLLEGE NIGHT! *throws confetti*

Written By: Huda Nadeem

Hey guys!

So I have been tasked with the job of telling you all about College Night and well, here goes nothing.

Technically, college night (more like day, but oh well) is an education expo of sorts. It’s actually a really useful thing because we’re gonna find a pretty big amount of University Representatives in one place, so if any of you are freaking the hell  out about what to do when applying for next year, this should be a pretty good place to start.

Now, I can’t tell you the names of all the universities, because hello, there’s got be some mystery, but I can tell you that there are definitely university representatives coming for students of all subjects! Including the mostly left out Art students.. (rejoice!)

Alright now that’s not all we’re getting though, I mean a bunch of universities setting up stalls, pfft, what’s so special about that, right? There’s also going to be a bunch of people coming in to talk to us about what to expect! (and what not to expect) (like, I’d say it’s fair game not to expect fishes as your colleagues in uni, or a river as your math teacher)

(hopefully)

These include;

1. DR. FRAMJI MINWALLA (IBA Department Head man)

This man is atm the Chair of the Department of Social Sciences & Liberal Arts at IBA. Phew, that’s a mouthful!  Not only that though, he’s also taught at Yale University, Dartmouth College, NYU and SZABIST to name a few.

2. HASSAN NASIR (USEFP Dude)

He’s gonna be talking about how to write your personal statements, which I hear is a really important part of the application process of getting into universities.

What’s USEFP though?

It stands for United States Education Foundation in Pakistan. It’s technically an exchange program that started like over 50 years ago now, and is still going strong! I think.

3. SANAM KARAMALLY (Consultant at various companies, like daaaamn son)

Ms. Karamally has been a consultant for 45 different companies, including Nestle, MediaCom and CNBC to name a few. She is also Head of Travels for TBL Holidays and also an associate of the Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM) in UK.

4. SIDRA IQBAL (TV journalist and activist lady)

She currently hosts ‘Insight with Sidra’ on PTV News, the state’s official channel and is the first Pakistani to be presented the GR* Women Award for Journalism.
(Totes jealous I mean, it’s such a gr8 award. Heheheh, sorry ._.)

5. TIM SPRACKLEN (Fella With The Hella Cool Hair)

Dr. Spracklen is a professor of Physics at Habib University and while his list of achievements is long and illustrious, I am mesmerized by this man’s hair.

6. SAJID HASSAN (An actor, man!)

Yes, there is an actor coming. And yes, it is SAJID HASAN OMG PLS TELL ME THERE ARE OTHER FANS FROM HIS DHOOP KINARE ERA BECAUSE THIS MAN IS AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED PART OF OUR ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

He has worked in Hollywood too. He had a role alongside Angelina Jolie in A Mighty Heart. (damn, son)

7. SHIREEN NAQVI (CEO of the School of Leadership)

Her experience as a senior management consultant and facilitator at Navitus includes having been consulted by a number of international and local corporations, NGOs and educational centers across Pakistan.

8. MAHA QASIM (TCS Alumnus!)
   

Maha did her A Levels from the Darakhshan Campus in 2004 and went on to attend Princeton University! (Daaang, Ivy League shizz.)

Maha has recently completed a Masters degree in Environmental Management from Yale (another Ivy League? Shité.) and is currently consulting for energy and environment projects in Pakistan. (You go, Maha! Four for you, Maha!)

9. SAAD WASEEM (LSE alumnus)

Mr. Waseem will probs give us the down low on how to get into LSE and will tell us about how he helps out fellow LSE graduates by recommending them for the best Recruitment and Internship programmes.

PHEW.

THAT’S FINALLY DONE WITH.

I mean, I finished an entire pint of ice cream writing all that. (Ben&Jerry’s 5evaa)

Speaking (reading?) of food items, THERE WILL ALSO BE FOOD! *crowd cheers*

And entertainment? Well, what else do we have Chapter Records for??

Saad and Zarmina, pls-pls-pls give us good music. We really need something other than the school song.

And as it so happens, Chapter Records won’t be the only group performing!

There’s supposed to be a bunch of performances from the other campuses too and hopefully we’ll BLOW THEM OUT OF THE PARK BECAUSE
                                                  💥CHAPTER PRIDE.💥

Let us all form a prayer circle for their success.

Welp, that’s all for now, do you really want more? D:

See ya’ll later! Maybe. Most probably not, but ..you know. ;-)

Headboys and Headgirls- Some things you know... and some things you don't

Written by: Hamna Fatima

Edited by: Asad Raza

*whispers* Aaaaand we’re LIVE!!

The toe-crunching, peanut-buttering Blogging Society of PAF Chapter brings to you some juicy details and some dirty laundry on none other than our esteemed (and NEW!!) headboy, headgirl, and their deputies. You’d have to be a dead sock to not know who they are yet but, dead sock or not, we’re here for you with some facts that’ll have you in a nail-biting ecstasy.

(Side note: Don’t do ecstasy. It’s dangerous.) (May even get you killed too.)

(Also on a side note: I can’t believe they made Fred black-haired in this Scooby Doo movie, this is blasphe— ohmygod, Shaggy did not just compare life to a chocolate souffle, this is g o l d.)

Anyway, for our headboy: Ismail Vohra

Symbol: Fingerprint. (or was it thumbprint?) (whatever it was, it was fancy. #thappalagao)

“mein na hi koi itna fit hoon, na ho meray koi six packs hein, na koi itna lamba hoon, tou app log kabhi bhi meray paas asaktay hein, grab my collar and go ‘Ismail bhai, ye kaam kyun nahi hoa’.”

Headboy of the year, 2015-16, Ismail Vohra, is many things; he plays chess, writes poetry, sings certain songs for certain girls (wild crowd screams in the background) and has a very philosophical approach to life and society. He likes web-designing, social entrepreneurships, and has a passion for community service.

What was your first thought when you won? ‘The first thought I had was kai kaash Vinay larki hota, aur mein usse shaadi karleta, because he’s sucha jiggar and he’s such a brother that kaash wo larki hota, and I would’ve married him.’

Indeed, Ismail.

What do you plan on doing now? ‘Yar saaf baat hei, ghar pe soona hei yaar, thoray choray pan mein ghomna hei, aur kiya yaar that’s what it’s all about…

                                                                                        ….Just kidding, yaar.’

Ismail, in all not-kidding-serious-ity, plans to make every individual in the school feel happy about their school, feel proud of Chapter. He plans on organizing many events, in his words: a Welcome, field trips, entrepreneurships, college nights, water carnivals etc. He’s presently thinking of something along the lines of a cruise— I bet everyone who voted for him is just thinking, Damn. I knew I made the right choice.

Well, you did.

Would you kick a truck for fun? ‘Yaar truck ko laat marnay kai lie, dekho mein tumko ye btaoon yaar mein kamzor sa pyara sa bacha hoon, itnay mein phaaday wadday karta ziada karta nahi hoon, ab zahiri baat hei truck pathan ka hoga, uspe likha hoga “maan ki dua” tou I respect that— tou buri baat hei yaar, maan ki dua likha hota hei, mein maan ki buhat respect karta hoon, so I’m never even ever gonna touch that truck.’

Along with being approachable, always open to suggestions, Ismail also likes to sing songs for this one, certain AS student. Here’s a sample, you can thank me later. ;-)

Aw, Ismail, don’t go betraying Vinay already… :-(

Our headgirl: Syeda Hoorulain

Symbol: Diamonds! (because who doesn’t love diamonds?)

Diamonds are rare. It’s true. Diamonds obsessed with children are rarer still, and diamonds obsessed with children who also think they’re serial killers are practically impossible to find. Yet it’s practically a twist of fate, or maybe just plain old luck that we got one as our Head Girl.

Crazy, funny and obsessed with movies, drill machines, Tom Cruise, hacking Snapchats and sometimes nurseries, Hoor is what you’d call a gem. (Get it?) (tell me someone got that?) Considerate and compassionate, and frequently late to Biology lectures, she’s definitely someone you can count on and trust. Her friends refer to her as “mommy” (and no, that is not weird) because she’s always there for them, doesn’t tolerate anything against them and loves them all almost as much as she loves Jon Snow.

It’s true. She says, “I seriously cried and shed tears when I learned about Jon’s death. It was a very sensitive topic for me, and a very tough time.”

We can tell, Hoor, we can tell.

When the results were announced, the first thing to cross her mind was: “Hayee, ab kitne logon ko biryani khilani paray gi”. Well, Hoorulain, I don’t know about everyone else, but you can definitely count me in on the list :p

Our deputy headgirl: Anoosha Imran

Symbol: The Anchor

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Anoosha Imran? Probably that it’s a hella nice name? Yeah, same. How about the second thing that comes to mind? Probably wondering why YOU don’t have an as awesome name??

[glares at parents from across the living room] ‘I trusted yOU!!’

(Life tip: If you want to not get caught bunking classes, contact her! She’s a professional!)

(Don’t tell any of the General Paper teachers though.)

Loves coffee and cricket, Anoosha is the kind of person who’s so pretty you want to perform a Satanic ritual with pentagrams to look like her you’d want as your best friend, always— she’ll have your back no matter how bad things get, she’s open-minded enough that you could talk to her about anything! Anytime! Even at 2 in the morning! And she’ll do anything to make sure she’s exactly the kind of deputy head students can come up to without hesitation.

Sounds like a winner, huh?

And with a straight-up wonderful name too.

Our deputy headboy: Murtaza Haroon

Symbol: Hats!

Murtaza does not…

                               …have his phone.

Isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve heard all week? Let’s have a moment of silence for him…. and for the absence of his phone…. [someone yells from the back: did the Headmaster take it, Murtaza?]

*moment over* phew.. that was exhausting, how do people do this whole silent thing anyway?

Hard-working, easy-going, and ooh did I mention hard-working?, Murtaza is perhaps the perfect deputy headboy we could’ve ever had. His speech, even though frequently (and by frequently, I mean every 7 seconds) interrupted by the microphone being the usual piece of cabbage, was terrific; and his symbol!!! Hats!!! Who doesn’t love hats?!

Aaaaand who doesn’t love Spiderman???

Okay, I don’t.

But Murtaza does!! Our spies tell us he starts singing the Indian Spiderman tune randomly everywhere. ((You know that Spiderman Spiderman verse, choraya meray dil ka chen.)) And with the literally millions of people screaming for Murtaza during his speech— one question remains unanswered: do you have a superpower, Murtaza? Wait, could it be, could it actually be- are you Spiderman?

(Hopefully without the suit, though— I can’t remember a single time I looked at Spiderman’s clothing and didn’t cringe to death.)

And that’s all people, for now. Don’t forget to sign up for membership in the Blogging Society- the topics are up on the Facebook page and the last date is October 10th!! Hurry, hurrrrrrrryyyy!! Write, Write, WRITE!!!!

CHESS MATE- CHESS TOURNAMENT 2015

Written by Romesa Hassan.

Chess Tournament? Chess Tournament.

When Waleed Bin Khalid was asked as to why he conducted this competition 'alongside Imad'. This was his reply:

1.       Last year The Buddy Support Society wasn’t able to do it.

2.      Imad begged me to arrange it.

3.      I was bored.

4.      Imad and I want world dominance.

...The first two reasons, well okay. Even the third one is quite justifiable but, uhm, yeah Waleed I hardly doubt that this chess tournament is going help you and Imad achieve world dominance. Just saying. To be very honest when I first saw the post about this tournament on Facebook I laughed out loud, *sorry you two* but to my utter surprise many people ended up participating! Well I guess enough with my rambling and let’s get down to every petty detail about this tournament, that lasted for a whole three weeks. I will take this moment to point out that despite the fact that this tournament lasted for three weeks the “management” (mainly Imad and Waleed. No actually, just Imad and Waleed) did not arrange for any photographers. *Tch tch tch* Very poor management skills guys.

Imad Aleem was the chief organizer and Waleed Bin Khalid acted in the capacity of President Buddy Support Society. The tournament, which initially included twenty eight participants kicked off with twenty six on the 11^th of February . Out of the twenty six participants, only three of were girls, namely Sara Sadiq, who withdrew as fast as Taylor Swift breaks up with her boyfriends and comes up with a new hit single, Saira Rizvi and Abeer Lakhani. Yup you can just see the gender stereotype playing out right there despite Imad’s “persuasive” announcement which I quote was as follows, “ This tournament is open for both boys and girls so that we can attract all the feminists in chapter"  Sources tell me that Saira Rizvi was given an easy opponent just so that she’d progress to the next round, unfortunately she didn’t, much to Imad’s dismay.

The matches were arranged with respect to every participant’s free periods and were conducted in the Resource Room. The official match time was forty minutes. Round One consisted of thirteen matches, Round Two seven, Quarter Final eight, Semi finals two, *wow no wonder the tournament lasted for three weeks* and then finally the Final! Each opponent was made to sign a form to ensure fairness. The matches were supervised by arbiters namely, Imad, Ahmad Shahid and Waleed. In the first round quite a few matches ended within two minutes. Clearly some of the participants were under a lot of stress. At one occasion, Taha Ansari took out an opponent’s chess piece using the opponent’s own piece. *Much Wow* A lot of spectators turned out to watch the matches, I being one of them. But I was usually kicked out or silenced because apparently,I have a ‘voice’ and I get ‘overexcited’. Sheeeshhh, it’s not a crime to be loud, okay? *okay.* I must say though, that the matches were pretty intense and were fun to watch. Finally after many well contested matches the Final was contested. Muhammad Arsalan and Abdullah Abdul Ghani were the two finalists. The Resource Room was filled with spectators and the match was also shown on a projector.

Battle of the...the, uh, idk, whatever chess term there is for this situation...

In end Muhammad Arsalan triumphed and the three week long tournament finally came to an end.

PS: The effort of Imad and Waleed is highly commendable because the whole tournament was extremely well managed. *Cheers*