Name: Syeda Ramsha Wasti
Class: A2C2
Dear Time,
I am lying here in the geriatric ward of a nursing home feeling desolate and helpless; as helpless as a child, as weak as a victim, and faced by a refusal to
grow up. When people look at me with pitying eyes, one part of my sensitive soul gets detached from my body. These mortal eyes look at my hunched
back, distorted figure, trembling lips and fearful eyes, but they clearly fail to see ‘me’ and my inner self. My eyes trouble almost all the time. Everybody
said eyes weren’t meant to last forever, but nobody told me that my eyes lie in the same category. I still remember my mom asking me to eat carrots so
that my vision doesn’t fail, but she failed to realize that old age would suck vision out of her son slowly and gradually. My wheelchair broke the other
day..wheelchairs can be really expensive, I tell you. Oh and not to forget my
memory. I am now an old forgetful person whose memory fails him time and
time again. Yes, the same person who keeps on losing a sock or his glasses
forever. If I ask you what makes you happy in life, what would you say? This
particular gift of yours, which people refer to as ‘old age’, has taught me
that family and friends are the real prize. But now they have left me. I don’t
blame them because nobody would desire a person who’s more of a liability
than an asset; who dribbles his food, who gets frustrated on small things,
who requires someone to feed and give him a bath, and who is uncertain and
grouchy for the most part. I am stuck in a phase of life where I am
beginning to think that the phrase ‘May you live to a ripe old age’ is actually
a curse. But the problem is that I am going to stay in this phase till..uhh, till
death takes it toll. Simply put, I am out of the race. No, actually, I am
standing out of the race and looking at other people who are still part of the
race, running really fast and leaving me behind without throwing another
glance. Isn’t this what you like, Time? Don’t you just love to get people in and
out of the race at you will? Aren’t you simply indifferent to human
sufferings because you know that no matter what happens, everything lies in
your hands? Back in A-levels, I remember reading about your immortal
nature in my literature class, but it didn’t matter then and now I clearly
understand the gravity these words hold.
Enough about the tactics that you have used to defeat me. Now it’s my turn
to enlighten you with how I defeated your purpose and defied you in a way.
Well, back in the good old days, when I first talked about following my
dream and becoming a psychologist, everybody taunted me and frightened
me by sketching a picture of a dreaded future in front of me. They told me
how I would never be able to have a ‘bright’ (as they put it) future, if I
pursued my dream. As I reckon, the fear of future is one of your faces that
you use in order to control and paralyze human beings so that you can
manifest the outcomes that you desire. You love boggling with human minds,
don’t you? So Mr. Time, I, being more stubborn than you, did not fall into
your trap and decided to follow my dream. And now, even though I am
broken both physically as well as emotionally, I have one thing which I can
cherish forever, one thing that gives me peace, one thing that even you can’t
steal from me and that’s the never-ending satisfaction of following my
dream. And you know what? While sitting in lonely, blue, and gloomy nursing
home, I can still put my arts of psychology to use and amuse myself by
reading people’s faces. Yes, I am satisfied despite the fact that I am at the
verge of death. And, you know what? Death doesn’t matter to me because I
have lived my life trying to achieve something that I dreamed, aspired and
visualized.
So here is how it goes: “Do not pity me, my friend. Do not pity me. For I
have always lived my life the way I wanted it to be”. Wait..do you still want
me to pen down who actually won the battle, or is it clear enough? Reply
soon.
With love,
An Ordinary Old Man.
