USMAN KHAN [A2S5]
Learning how to stop being shy, whether it’s around girls, guys or people in
general could be one of the most important things you’ll learn in your entire
life.
Once you understand how to stop being shy, you can become more
confident, connect with others better and have and enormous amount of fun
in social settings. As a Social Adviser, I’ve been able to observe repeatedly
how learning this can turn a person’s life around.
There is a lot of advice out there on how to stop being shy. Regrettably,
most of it comes from people who don’t have a real comprehension of the
psychology of shyness, and it’s too naive or vague to actually do anything
for you.
I want to provide you the advice that truly works. So I’m going to point out
the four crucial actions that if you take, will truly allow you to stop being so
shy.
1. Stop Being Shy By Being More Social
Shy people typically get this the other way around. Many social settings
make them feel anxious, so they try to find ways to get rid of this social
anxiety from home, so they can then be more social.
But the trick is that to a large degree, you get rid of the anxiety by being
more social.
Even if social settings make you nervous, you get into them anyway instead
of avoiding them. Even if being more talkative is challenging for you, you
push yourself to talk more anyway.
You deliberately do the things you fear. And as you do so, you gain social
experience and you gradually become more accustomed to engaging in
social interactions. Thus, your shyness dwindles away.
If you find it too hard to push against the anxiety and be more outgoing,
you simply have to find social opportunities where it’s easier to do so. Start
with those and gradually move up. This is a key idea concerning how to stop
being shy.
2. Catch Your Distorted Thinking
Working with shy people, I’ve noticed that without exception, they have
a way of seeing themselves and seeing social interactions that is largely
inaccurate.
For instance, they may see themselves as uninteresting when this is clearly
not the case, or they may think others are making fun of them in a social
setting although there is little evidence to support this notion.
When talking about how to stop being shy, I always emphasize how
important it is to identify this inaccurate thinking.
Doing so achieves two things. First, it gives you more motivation to go out,
face your fears and be social, because you know your fears are not rational.
Second, it enables you to correct the flaws in your thinking. This leads me to
my next point…
3. Put Your Thinking Straight
I often like to refer to shyness as a mental bug. You’re thinking is bugged:
it generates distorted predictions and interpretations, which creates
nervousness. And you need to debug your mind.
Once you know what’s inaccurate in your thinking, you can start to practice
thinking in a new, more constructive way.
You can begin to see your qualities, not just your flaws, see the things you
do right, not just the things you do wrong, and not make a big deal out of
doing something silly in front of others once in a while. As you practice this
new type of thinking, it gradually replaces the old type and it builds your
social confidence.
4. Keep Walking
The last but possibly the most valuable thing to realize is that once you
know how to stop being shy, it’s not enough. It’s the implementation that
yields results.
I’ve seen many people turn from shy to social: young and old, guys and
girls. What they all have in common is that they found a method for
overcoming shyness that works and they applied it consistently for at least a
couple of months.
And through this continuous application over a period of time, they
effectively reprogrammed their thinking, feelings and behavior. This is what
enabled them to be more outgoing, make friends and fully enjoy social
interactions.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep walking; to apply the
knowledge consistently.
One of the most common mistakes shy people make is that they give up
too soon, often when the results just started to show and their confidence is
close to taking off. And this is precisely what keeps them stuck.
Learn, apply, persist and be willing to invest in yourself. This is the recipe
for the utmost success in overcoming your shyness. There is a big, beautiful
world out there, with lots of cool people in it. And they’re all waiting for
you.
 |
| Say no to shy |
Learning how to stop being shy, whether it’s around girls, guys or people in
general could be one of the most important things you’ll learn in your entire
life.
Once you understand how to stop being shy, you can become more
confident, connect with others better and have and enormous amount of fun
in social settings. As a Social Adviser, I’ve been able to observe repeatedly
how learning this can turn a person’s life around.
There is a lot of advice out there on how to stop being shy. Regrettably,
most of it comes from people who don’t have a real comprehension of the
psychology of shyness, and it’s too naive or vague to actually do anything
for you.
I want to provide you the advice that truly works. So I’m going to point out
the four crucial actions that if you take, will truly allow you to stop being so
shy.
1. Stop Being Shy By Being More Social
Shy people typically get this the other way around. Many social settings
make them feel anxious, so they try to find ways to get rid of this social
anxiety from home, so they can then be more social.
But the trick is that to a large degree, you get rid of the anxiety by being
more social.
Even if social settings make you nervous, you get into them anyway instead
of avoiding them. Even if being more talkative is challenging for you, you
push yourself to talk more anyway.
You deliberately do the things you fear. And as you do so, you gain social
experience and you gradually become more accustomed to engaging in
social interactions. Thus, your shyness dwindles away.
If you find it too hard to push against the anxiety and be more outgoing,
you simply have to find social opportunities where it’s easier to do so. Start
with those and gradually move up. This is a key idea concerning how to stop
being shy.
2. Catch Your Distorted Thinking
Working with shy people, I’ve noticed that without exception, they have
a way of seeing themselves and seeing social interactions that is largely
inaccurate.
For instance, they may see themselves as uninteresting when this is clearly
not the case, or they may think others are making fun of them in a social
setting although there is little evidence to support this notion.
When talking about how to stop being shy, I always emphasize how
important it is to identify this inaccurate thinking.
Doing so achieves two things. First, it gives you more motivation to go out,
face your fears and be social, because you know your fears are not rational.
Second, it enables you to correct the flaws in your thinking. This leads me to
my next point…
3. Put Your Thinking Straight
I often like to refer to shyness as a mental bug. You’re thinking is bugged:
it generates distorted predictions and interpretations, which creates
nervousness. And you need to debug your mind.
Once you know what’s inaccurate in your thinking, you can start to practice
thinking in a new, more constructive way.
You can begin to see your qualities, not just your flaws, see the things you
do right, not just the things you do wrong, and not make a big deal out of
doing something silly in front of others once in a while. As you practice this
new type of thinking, it gradually replaces the old type and it builds your
social confidence.
4. Keep Walking
The last but possibly the most valuable thing to realize is that once you
know how to stop being shy, it’s not enough. It’s the implementation that
yields results.
I’ve seen many people turn from shy to social: young and old, guys and
girls. What they all have in common is that they found a method for
overcoming shyness that works and they applied it consistently for at least a
couple of months.
And through this continuous application over a period of time, they
effectively reprogrammed their thinking, feelings and behavior. This is what
enabled them to be more outgoing, make friends and fully enjoy social
interactions.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep walking; to apply the
knowledge consistently.
One of the most common mistakes shy people make is that they give up
too soon, often when the results just started to show and their confidence is
close to taking off. And this is precisely what keeps them stuck.
Learn, apply, persist and be willing to invest in yourself. This is the recipe
for the utmost success in overcoming your shyness. There is a big, beautiful
world out there, with lots of cool people in it. And they’re all waiting for
you.
1 comment:
needed somthing like that - really helpful for people like me in the shadow of shyness (Y)
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