Love and Beyond

Written by: Hiba Anis ( A1 - G1 )

               
And don’t we all want it? Irrespective of our ages or rather level of maturity we never stop craving for

it. Maybe it’s a learned or acquired behavior, for how can it not be? In my last 26 years, 80 out of 100

movies I have seen have been on this subject, 70% of all that I have read (and when I state that

percentage I include my course books as well) have been written on it. In fact, correct me if you feel I am

exaggerating but 60% literature that exists in this world would be on this. I have been listening to the

sometimes inspirational, sometimes heart wrenching and sometime puke inducing stories of my friends

and acquaintances since maybe when I was 16 and it has been a whole decade now. If you haven’t

guessed by now, of course I speak of the most sacred or pseudo sacred and most talked about emotion

LOVE! You enter into a book store, a quarter of it is dedicated to Romance novels, you enter a gift

shop, you can hardly find anything that doesn’t have curvy hearts drawn on it, the most predominant

flowers you will find at the florist are the red roses. Pick up a show or a movie from any genre they

cannot help but insert the element of romance in it (even shows like Bones and X-files and Heroes).

The question is that is it really all that or grossly over rated like Swiss chocolates. And I don’t think I will

ever get even close to getting an answer to that. Love exists in so many different forms and degrees

because it subsists in the heart of a lover. And although heart is an organ, which appears seemingly

identical but is more distinct than we can imagine, giving love a different meaning and different

interpretation. For someone who carries his heart on his sleeve would use the word so loosely, he or she

would fall in love many times even during the day ranging from his school teacher to his favorite

celebrity, the guy she met at a friend’s house, the waitress he saw at the coffee shop. As opposed to this

genre of people, the other one who falls on the other end of the continuum elevating its status and

making it seem almost venerable, emphatically believing that it can only happen once in a life time. And

sometimes holding onto that belief so stringently that they don’t realize that they are denying

themselves of something good, and in the process they end up isolating their hearts and lives.

And then there are some of us who spend most of our lives ridiculing the whole idea, layering our hearts

with walls of cynicism and indifference, mocking the lovers, rolling our eyes and outwardly displaying a

false superiority, clearly demonstrating disgust for such sentimental behavior of others, declaring

ourselves above it. And inwardly very small part in our hearts (sometimes so negligibly small that even

we cannot detect its presence) feels envious. Our fake contempt is many a times only a facade.

Love by nature is strange. It makes us behave in obscure, complicated and unfathomable ways. Volumes

can be written on so many different and yet very strong emotions that stems from it, paradoxically

hatred is also one of them, others are jealousy, fierce loyalty, obsession etc but what I personally

find most amusing is the effect it has on the lovers. The most articulate, sophisticated and self assured

ones of us, who are capable of supreme indifference, glib conversations and suave flirtatiousness, find

ourselves annoyingly incomprehensible, gauche and out of interesting and timely anecdotes when faced

with the object of our affections. We end up fumbling for words, stuttering, saying incredibly and

unforgivably stupid things. Had I not experienced it myself, I would have found it heartening and

curiously appealing that how significantly humbling the affect of love is. How someone can actually have

that power and influence to exert on us (except that the recipient is most of the time oblivious to

Godsend influence) that no one else has. It makes us do things which totally contradict with who we

actually are. It makes us check our mailboxes after every one hour, we keep a close track of our missed

calls, and our eyes scan the screen of our cell phones unconsciously and intermittently during work,

watching TV, having coffee with friends and sometimes even when we wake up in the middle of the

night to have water. And anyone who reads it would probably roll his eyes at sheer exaggeration but I

know to some extent we all do that, maybe in varying degrees.

Anyways requited love is much simpler. It is the unrequited which is lethal and with serious

repercussions. And sometimes it is just the thrill of the chase. We elevate people and put them on

pedestals, believing they are far above the humanity and blindly chase them, and so it happens, the

more you run after something the more it runs away from you. Now at this point some of us actually

have the sense to stop and put a halt to our insane self construed obsession but some of us thrilled by

the challenge continue to chase, either from lack of foresight or a surplus of optimism. And it is only

when at the end of the chase you remain empty handed it dawns on you that you wore yourself out for

a lost cause. No more pumped by the adrenaline, the severity of the situation hits you, leaving you

exhausted and bitter.

Many a times its important to stop and rationalize, no matter how liberating and tempting spontaneity

is, for the well being of our hearts we should exert some impulse control. However, as I say it I feel like a

hypocrite as it is much easier said than done. Love has varying affect on different people. Just like it

makes some of us vulnerable likewise it sometimes make some fearless. We do things we thought we

were incapable of doing and despite all the odds we allow our hearts to be exposed despite knowing

that there is a good chance of getting it trampled and bruised. Now the most interesting thing is the

correlation of love with our egos. We may claim ourselves to be so proud and egotistical and yet love

bends us to our knees, for the two of them cannot coexist., if you want one you have to relinquish the

other, now it all depends on you how smartly you choose between the two.

It is amusing to witness how love elevates the status of ordinary to extraordinary, for only a lover can

see the perfection in his loved one, conveniently overlooking the flaws. Similarly, an extraordinary

person could just be worthless, for no matter how hard he struggles to get someone to love him he fails.

I wish there were formulae but there are none, only a person in love alone, can know what he sees. And

sometimes people can try as hard as they can to reach to that level of perfection, to fit in that mould to

customize himself to the other person and yet all his efforts fall short. Just like Rhett Butler, it was so

obvious that no one suited Scarlett O'Hara more than Rhett Butler. It was so obvious to everyone except

to her. And he left no stone unturned, loving her with an incomprehensible intensity and yet failing to

solicit any response from her. And some are more simplistic in their love, who actually make this

emotion worth falling for, they uncomplicate things, instead of twisting them into knots they resolve

issues like Elizabeth Bennett. And then there exists a love so dark and bitter, so contemptuous and yet

so passionate like that of Heathcliff, which destroys everyone and everything that comes in his way.

I have written so much and yet I am nowhere close to finishing for like I said volumes can be written on

this, as love exists in as many forms as the number of people there are in this world. Some of us

obstinately believe that love exists in a specific form or shape not knowing that it is actually amorphous,

it takes whatever shape you want it to take. Many of us might be in love right now, not knowing that we

have been inflicted, many of us could have love staring right in the eye and yet we are choosing to look

elsewhere, and some of the more unfortunate ones of us can only yearn for it from a distance, for we

don’t know how to love we can only write long stories and inane analysis on it because the truth is that

the more we feel we know what love is the less we actually know it, as love is perhaps about letting go

of your inhibitions, putting your guard down, opening your heart and taking the plunge.

Source: Internet

 Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.” 

- Nichols Sparks, A Walk to Remember